The Scars Of My Past
by Orca15
Summary: Rorianna started her task force to find the man responsible for killing her family. She never expected to find a new family in the process and face impossible odds on more than one occasion. When dark secrets from their pasts come back to haunt them Rori, Steve, Danny, John, and Hank must stick together and stay strong to survive. But, how long will it before their luck runs out?
1. chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Hawaii Five-O, Stargate Atlantis, or Royal Pains. I do adore them and enjoy writing about them :) I also do not own any of the song lyrics that I have referenced (in _italics_ ). Again, I enjoy these songs and thought they fit well (after long deliberation with a friend of which one to use). I do, however, own my O/C Rorianna. **

**Also, this story should not be read if you have hesitations about polynamic relationships or man love as it will include both.**

 **Please enjoy, read, and review!**

 **Series one, chapter one:**

 _This time, this place, misused, mistakes._

 _Too long, too late,_

 _Who was I to make you wait_

 _Just one chance, just one breath,_

 _Just in case there's just one left._

 _'Cause you know, you know, you know…_

Rorianna Rivera watched the trailer house carefully. Cautious not to let her guard down or let her emotions interfere with logic. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart. The red and blue lights tinted everything around her and she had to remind herself to breath. She couldn't focus since she'd gotten the call. One of her agents, her ohana, was in trouble.

She wasn't prepared for this. She should be, but she wasn't.

She tried to think if Detective Danny Williams had mentioned a lead or case he was working on. Nothing came to mind. She knew for sure that she hadn't assigned him anything through her task force, Five-O. She was damn pissed at him for coming here alone.

Why hadn't he taken someone with him, damnit!

"Rori!" Commander Steve McGarrett's voice broke through her bubble of shock. "Is he in the house?" he asked as he approached with Colonel John Sheppard and Dr. Hank Lawson. Together, with Danny and herself, they made up the entirety of her Albuquerque based task force. The entirety of her family.

John and Steve were both prepared, already wearing their tack vests and armed for war. Between the two of them they more than compensated for her lack of experience.

She could tell they were holding back the same flood of emotions that she was, but, if she didn't know them as intimately as she did, she would only see their stoic military exteriors.

"Is he in the house or not, Rorianna?" John asked.

"I don't know," she said, forcing herself to focus. "He called for backup twenty minutes ago. His car is here, but I haven't been able to reach him. The neighbor reported that there were shots fired inside the home about fifteen minutes ago."

"Why are we standing here?" Steve said. It was hard for him not to be in charge, she knew that. She'd known it would be when she first asked him and Danny to come to Albuquerque. But, he trusted her.

"The first officer on scene attempted to make contact, left his rookie in the car and went straight to the door. He took a head shot," she said. "The Chief ordered me to wait for SWAT."

"Are you okay?" Hank asked. Rori nodded. She still wasn't sure.

"What are we gonna do, boss?" Steve asked. It was his way of showing that he was ready to support her decision, no matter what it ended up being.

"We have to assume that Danny was inside and has been hit. He doesn't have time for us to wait for SWAT," she said. "We're cutting the power and going in." She pulled her .45 out of it's holster and flicked the safety off. "Hank, get behind Steve's truck and wait for us to call you."

"Yes ma'am," Hank replied and headed back to the truck.

"Chavez," she said into her radio.

"Yeah," Chavez replied. He was barely two weeks out of the academy. The kid was scared to death.

"Cut the power," she ordered.

The house and street went dark, lit only by the red and blue lights of the police cars. John and Steve flanked her, weapons at the ready, as she headed for the door. The adrenaline had kicked in, or was that the shock still? Either way, she felt controlled and calm now.

Rori and John stepped to either side of the door as Steve kicked it in and she led them inside. They were in perfect sync as they switched on their tactical lights.

They rounded the corner into the kitchen where a man stood over the sink with the water running. Rori spotted a very familiar pair of shoes sticking out from behind the island counter and they were frighteningly still. Her heart skipped a beat and sunk into her stomach.

"Five-O, put your hands up where I can see them and turn around slowly," she commanded, fighting off a wave of fear and anger.

The man didn't turn, instead he glanced over to the counter where his gun lay.

"Don't even think about it!" Steve warned. The edge in his voice caught Rori a little by surprise. He was supposed to have total control. He was a Navy Seal, he couldn't lose control, he was programmed not to.

Maybe that's what love does to you.

"Turn around," John repeated Rori's command. She heard the anger in his voice too. Again, she was a little caught off guard by it. John was Special Forces, she'd never seen him be anything but controlled, even the night he'd found her bleeding out on her kitchen floor. She brought her focus back. The man still wasn't responding.

"You can leave here in cuffs or a body bag, it's your choice," Rori growled.

The man finally turned around with his hands up above his head. John let his P90 hang from the strap on his vest as he moved in to cuff the man. John shoved him down to his knees as soon as the cuffs were secure. Rori and Steve holstered their guns and rushed to Danny's side.

He was slumped against the counter with at least three gunshot wounds in his chest.

"Danno!" Rori exclaimed as she dropped down next to him and searched for a pulse. There was none. Steve helped her pull Danny to the floor and she started chest compressions.

"Danny, don't you die on us, babe," Steve said as he gave Danny a light slap on the cheek, as if trying to wake him up. She'd seen them do that to each other a thousand times.

"He's already dead, bruh," the man said from where he was cuffed a few feet away.

"John, get him out of here!" Rori said between gritted teeth as Steve leaned in to give Danny a rescue breath. "Steve, go clear the house and get Hank."

John drug the man to the door without a word but Steve hesitated a second before heading off into the house with his gun drawn again. John returned a moment later with Hank and Steve in tow.

"Oh god," Hank said as he began assessing Danny's condition.

"That doesn't give me a vote of confidence!" Rori said.

"Well, it doesn't look good," Hank replied as he ripped Danny's shirt open.

"The ambulance is still five minutes out," John reported.

"Rori, stop compressions," Hank said.

She made eye contact with him and he gave a small nod. She pulled her hands back from Danny's chest and watched as Hank fed a tube down Danny's throat and attached a big, blue bulb to the end. He handed the bulb over to Steve and began preparing his portable defibrillator.

Steve and Hank worked in perfect unison to try and get Danny back. Rori could see the fear in their eyes as they alternated between shocking him and squeezing the blue bulb to give him oxygen.

It felt like an eternity before the paramedics arrived to assist Hank.

"Dr. Lawson, what do we have?" one of them asked.

"Multiple gunshot wounds, he's been down no longer than twenty minutes," Hank reported.

They jumped in to help Hank, edging Steve out of the way. Steve and John's palms were cold with a nervous sweat as they held each of her hands and the three of them watched helplessly.


	2. Chapter 2

_On my knees, I'll ask, last chance_

 _For one last dance_

 _'Cause with you, I'd withstand_

 _All of hell to hold your hand._

 _I'd give it all, I'd give for us_

 _Give anything but I won't give up_

 _Cause you know, you know, you know…_

"We got him back!" Hank exclaimed after he shocked Danny for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"I don't know how long, though," one of the paramedics pointed out.

"Let's get him to the hospital, I can't stop this bleeding here," Hank said.

The paramedic nodded a quick reply and the helped Hank get Danny on he stretcher. They wheeled Danny toward the door and Hank followed with Rori, John, and Steve right behind him.

"Hank, take care of our boy," Steve said. "Please."

Danny and Steve had been together the longest. They started as partners when Steve led the Five-O task force in Hawaii. Somewhere between spending every day together, saving the island from threat after threat, and sharing a liver they had fallen in love, though neither of them had admitted it before Rori had come along.

"Steven, I am going to do everything I can," Hank assured. "I got him."

Steve nodded as Hank jumped in the back of the ambulance behind the paramedics and pulled the door shut. They watched as the ambulance disappeared around the corner.

"Steve, John, check the house. Find out why Danny was here," she said. "I'm going to talk to our little friend."

"I want to interview him," Steve said.

"Go check the house," she repeated her command. She wasn't going to argue with him. She knew better than anyone that it would be almost impossible for him to hold back and the last thing she needed was to have to explain to the Governor why she had allowed one of her agents to injure or kill a man in custody.

It wasn't like Danny not to let someone know where he was going if he was working a case. It didn't make any sense. The case they were currently working on didn't have any leads, that she was aware of, that would have taken Danny to a trailer park in the south valley. No matter what brought him here, Danny was smart, he wouldn't go looking for trouble without backup unless he had a damn good reason.

Her fear had warped into anger now and it was directed at one man. She had to keep herself in check, though, or her anger would take control.

John had left the man they'd arrested in one of the police cars under the watchful eye of Chavez, who still looked terrified.

"Chavez, you doing okay?" Rori asked as she approached him.

He just nodded.

She pulled the door to the cruiser open and leaned down to calmly make eye contact with the man.

"Officer Chavez, do we have an ID on our friend?" she asked without breaking her stare.

"Yes ma'am," the young officer replied. "Roberto Sanchez, he has a driving record a mile long for street racing."

"Is that so? You like fast cars, Roberto?" Rori asked. She tried not to let her mind wander to her past. There were a lot of people in Albuquerque that were into racing. That didn't mean this was related to her accident.

"I'm not saying nothing!" he spat.

"Not saying anything," she corrected.

"You didn't read me my rights," Sanchez replied.

"You shot a police officer in the head, you shot another in the chest, neither of which had even touched their weapons. You think you have rights?" she asked. He didn't reply, probably because he knew better. "Why was Detective Williams here?"

"I am not saying anything," he said.

"Chavez, book him on two counts of deadly assault on a peace officer pending Detective Williams condition," Rori said, fixing Sanchez with a cold stare.

"They deserved what they got!" Sanchez said.

Rori slammed the car door shut before she did something she would regret and turned her back.

"Get him out of here," Rori ordered Chavez.

"Yes ma'am," Chavez replied. "The Chief is on his way and CSU is on scene."

She nodded as she started to walk off. John and Steve were waiting on the porch of the trailer house.

"Get anything from him?" Steve asked when she joined them.

"He's into street racing," she said. Again, the little voice in her head questioned that. She'd been looking for a Hispanic street racer since before she got involved in Five-O. Before she'd met Steve and Danny. Considering the fact that catching him was the only thing that was holding her back from being a hundred percent emotionally and physically involved with any of them, let alone all of them, it couldn't be a coincidence. From the glance that Steve and John shared, she had a feeling it wasn't a coincidence at all.

"We thought so," Steve said.

"You need to see this," John added, leading her into the house.

There was a framed photo on the wall of Sanchez next to a black Honda Civic. The car had a skull sticker on the back bumper, peeking out from where Sanchez leaned against the car.

She let her mind go back to the night that had changed her life. The image of the black Honda screeching away. The skull on the bumper laughing at her as she lay on the pavement. Her own car had flipped over the retainer wall of the overpass.

Her memory of that car had been the only lead they'd ever had.

"The car isn't here," Steve said. "But Danny was definitely on to something."

She just stared at the picture. She didn't know how to feel. What was she supposed to feel? She'd lost everything that night, yet, it had led her to where she was now. She'd lost her family, but she'd gained her Ohana. She had given up on finding the car and the racer that had wrecked them that night. She'd given up on closure and accepted the fact that she would always be twisted and broken.

She spun around and stormed out the door, headed straight for the car where Sanchez still sat, awaiting transport.

"Rori!" John called. She could hear him and Steve pursuing her. John was always the one to stop her from doing stupid shit. "We don't even know if he owned the car at the time!"

"And if he didn't, he knows he did," she said without turning to face him.

Steve grabbed her arm to stop her when they caught up.

"Rorianna, calm down, you're not thinking clearly," he said. She knew he worried about her impulsive reactions. He didn't want her to do something she would regret. She appreciated that and had just pulled the same protective bullshit on him less than ten minutes before. But, she'd had enough.

"That man may have killed my family! He killed a cop tonight! He shot Danny, for godsake, Danny might die!" she said.

She glanced from one of them to the other, silently begging them to understand, to help her. Steve wasn't hard to sway. He let go of her arm and headed for the car. She and John followed him. He yanked the car door open with a controlled anger she'd never seen before and grabbed Sanchez by the shirt.

"Is that your Honda in the picture?" he asked.

"I need to speak to my lawyer," Sanchez said.

"Answer his question!" John commanded.

"I'm not talking to no police until I see my lawyer," Sanchez repeated.

"Did you own the black Honda Civic in May of 2016?" Steve clarified his question.

"I'm not talking to the police," Sanchez said again. He was like a damn broken record.

"Do we look like the police?" Rori asked. "Chavez is the police," she pointed to the rookie. "Denning, whom you shot, was the police. We're Five-O, not the police."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Sanchez asked.

"Who was driving the Honda the night of May 21, 2016?" John asked.

"That other cop was asking about that, too, before I put three in his chest," Sanchez said. His tone was both threatening and taunting. "Is he dead?"

"You better hope not," Rori said.

"I'm not afraid of a little jail time," Sanchez said. "But it would be nice to know I took the pig with me!"

Steve pulled his gun and pressed the barrel against Sanchez's temple.

"It's not jail time you have to worry about," John pointed out.

"Tell us who was driving the car that night," Steve growled. He looked like he was in complete control yet at the same time, there was a very personal, angry rage boiling beneath the surface. Rori had never seen him like this. Danny had told stories, though, of Steve breaking arms and shooting people in the leg to get what he needed in an interrogation. She'd never seen it, though, and wasn't sure she ever wanted to again.

"I was!" Sanchez shouted. "That damn Chevy wouldn't move out of the fucking way, I was losing the race!"

"You killed my husband and kids to win a race?!" Rori questioned. Sanchez didn't respond, he just stared at her with those cold, demented eyes. "Steve, holster your weapon." Rori added after a moment of silence.

"Rori, he--" Steve started to protest, but Rori raised her hand to stop him.

"He killed a cop, maybe two, and two babies. That's not gonna go over well in prison," Rori said. She fixed Sanchez with a cold stare. "Let nature take it's course." He looked genuinely scared, which satisfied her more than she expected. "Good luck," she added before she turned away and headed for Danny's car.


	3. Chapter 3

_I wanted, I wanted you to stay_

 _'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say_

 _That I love you, I've loved you all along_

 _And I forgive you, for being away for far too long_

 _So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

Rori leaned her back against Danny's car and slid down till her bottom hit the pavement. The Camero was parked about a block down the road and she was in desperate need of a reprieve from the chaos. She pulled a cigarette from the pack in her tack vest and lit it. She pulled a breath of smoke into her lungs and let it out slowly. She knew what the guys would say, especially Danny. His voice echoed in her head about how idiotic smoking was and how she was going to kill herself. Right now she wanted to die. She should be dead. Not Danny. Not her husband. Not her babies.

All the pain she'd held in since before she started the task force boiled over. She'd hid it so well behind faux confidence and pure anger for so long that she'd forgotten what it was like to let herself feel pain. She'd forgotten that tears were wet as they escaped the edge of her eyelids and rolled down her cheek.

She heard footsteps on the pavement and quickly wiped the tears from her face. It was John. He sat next to her and didn't say anything for a moment to give her a chance to get control of herself.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Not really, no," she replied.

"Danny is strong. He's survived a lot in his life. He'll make it through this," John said. He reached over, took the cigarette, and put it out on the ground.

"It's not just that," she replied and stared at the squished cigarette on the ground. "I've been looking for that man," she pointed in the general direction of the police cruiser, "for the better part of two years. It's the whole reason I started this task force . So what now?"

"Now we keep doing what we do," he replied.

"And what about personally, John?" She asked.

John looked a little hesitant, like he wanted to say something but he was afraid to, or unsure.

"What?" she asked.

"I think I speak for all of us when I say we're not going anywhere," he said. "You are my best friend, you have been for a long time, and the guys… I never expected to fall for them like I have."

Rori wasn't sure how to respond to that. She'd known and loved John since before her family was killed. He'd been with her every step of the way. He'd literally saved her life when she'd hit rock bottom. He'd stuck around when she'd expected him to leave—not many guys would stay if their somewhat girlfriend admitted to falling for someone else, especially three someone else's. But he had. He'd excepted that she wasn't able to move on and settle down with just one guy till she got closure for losing her family.

Now, she realized, she wouldn't be able to leave any of them behind and he, apparently, understood that.

"Wait, what are you saying?" she asked. She was pretty sure, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"Nothing has to change for our Ohana, we're in this together and I think the guys would agree. We all felt the exact same thing when we saw Danny on that floor," he said. "We're a family and nothing changes that."

They sat in the quiet for a moment and watched as Chavez drove off with Sanchez in the back seat. Steve came and joined them. He plopped down on her other side.

"Sanchez is on his way to MDC and CSU has the crime scene," Steve reported.

"Mahalo," she said.

"You alright?" he asked after small moment of silence.

"Is everyone going to ask me that?" she asked as her phone rang. She pulled the slim device from her back pocket and took a quick, steadying breath when she saw the call was from Hank.

"Hank," she greeted as she accepted the call. "How is he?"

"In surgery. There's a lot of damage," Hank said. "I have the best trauma surgeon in Albuquerque in there."

"Why aren't you in there?" Rori asked. It was, after all, his job. The governor had approved adding Hank to the team as medical examiner and personal physician to all team members. It was a part time position that he'd taken in addition to his position in the emergency room.

"I, um, I can't operate on him, Rori," he said. "He's family."

"Okay," she said. She understood. "What's your assessment though?" she asked. She knew he could provide a medical opinion aside from his personal feelings, she'd seen him do it several times.

"Dr. Anderson is doing everything he can, but I think it's best if we prepare ourselves for the worst," Hank said.

"Understood, we just handed over the scene, we'll be on our way over soon," she said.

"I'll be waiting," Hank said.

She ended the call without a goodbye and stared blankly at the phone.

"Rori?" Steve asked.

"Hank thinks we should prepare ourselves," she said. "One of us should call the kids." Danny's kids. They were too young to lose their father like this.

"I'll do it on the way to the hospital," Steve said. He got to his feet and offered Rori and John a hand up. "Take my truck, I'll bring the Camero," Steve said as he handed John the keys to his truck. The Albuquerque Police Chief pulled up and parked across the street.

"I have to talk to the Chief real quick, I'll meet you guys over there," Rori said. John headed off toward Steve's truck with a quick nod. Steve pulled the door of the Camero open and paused for a second.

"Want me to stay?" he asked.

"No, go, call the kids and be with Danny," Rori said.

Steve nodded. He sank down into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"I'm sorry, Steve," she said.

"No, Danny's gonna make it, he's strong," he said.

"That's not what I mean," Rori said. "You two were happy in Hawaii and I changed everything."

"You made everything better," Steve said. "Danny and I couldn't even admit that we were in love before you raced into our lives. We wouldn't change a thing." She nodded. "I'll see you at the hospital."

He closed the door and pulled away from the curb. Rori headed over to where the chief was talking with the Crime Scene Unit Captain. The CSU Captain walked off with purpose as she approached.

"Director Rivera, how's your man?" the Chief asked.

"In surgery, not sure yet," she replied. "I'm sorry about Officer Denning."

"What the hell happened here?" he asked, ignoring her apology.

"Detective Williams was following a lead on one of our cases, my case," she said. "We're still not sure where he got the lead or why he came alone."

"He was chasing your case? As in the Honda?" the Chief asked for clarification.

"Yes sir," she replied. The Chief had been a friend for quite some time. He'd been on the scene that night and had followed every lead and bit of information she'd brought him from her independent undercover stint. He was the one that had sent her to Hawaii to help Steve and Danny in the first place and he'd been the one to recommend her to the Governor. "Roberto Sanchez, the suspect we took into custody, owned a black Honda Civic that matches my description from the accident. I don't why he opened fire so easily."

"It definitely sounds like something else went down here before Danny called for help," the Chief said.

"Yeah," she replied. "I just don't know what." Rori sighed as she leaned against the Chiefs SUV. He watched her quietly for a moment, his concern was written all over his face, but she couldn't take his pity right now. "Dick, I need you to do a background investigation on Sanchez. I know you want answers as much as I do. Sanchez told me he wrecked my car that night because he was losing the race, but there was plenty of space for him to go around and I very clearly remember him stopping until after my car hit the ground. I want to know why."

"You know you've always had my support, Rorianna," he said. "I figured your team would be taking the lead."

"Our focus is otherwise occupied," she replied.

"Otherwise occupied? One of your Agents was just involved in a shooting, your focus should be on this," the Chief said. She didn't reply. How could she tell this man who had been like a father to her that she was crossing all the lines that had ever been drawn for personal relationships with a subordinate? "He's more than just one of your agents, isn't he?"

"They're my Ohana, they're everything to me," she replied. "Call me as soon as you have anything."

"Of course, keep me updated on Williams," the Chief said.

Rori nodded. She headed off toward her Mustang. Now that the shock and adrenaline was wearing off she had an unsettled feeling settling in.


	4. Chapter 4

_Believe it, hold on to me and_

 _Never let me go, keep breathing_

 _Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

 _Believe it, hold on to me and_

 _Never let me go, keep breathing_

 _Hold on to me and never let me go_

 _Keep breathing_

 _Hold on to me and never let me go_

Rori stared at the carpet of the waiting room. The swirled orange and green pattern mimicked the chaos she felt inside. The sun was starting to come up, it felt like a dagger in her sleep deprived eyes as it sliced through the window. None of them had slept, who could?

Steve was pacing, again, from the window to the door and back. He'd barely said a word, which was so out of character for him.

John's quiet brooding in the corner, on the other hand, was par for the course. She'd seen it before. He'd pick a chair, or a spot on the floor like he had now, and sit where he could watch everything that happened. It was his defense mechanism.

Hank had gone, once again, to check on the surgery. The last time he'd gone he'd come back with coffee and had quietly said "no updates." But Rori could tell that something was happening because Hank had seemed nervous and had left for another check only a few moments after returning.

Dr. Anderson appeared with Hank in the doorway. Hank was wearing his Doctor face. Steve, John, and Rori rushed over to meet the doctors and Hank stepped over next to her as if switching roles. He gripped her hand reassuringly and rested his other hand on Steve's shoulder.

"He's out of surgery," Dr. Anderson reported, "but not out of the woods."

"What does that mean?" Rori asked.

"There's some pretty extensive damage to his heart and lungs," Dr. Anderson said. "And there is concern about possible brain damage from the amount of time he was without oxygen."

The four of them shared a look, Rori saw her own fear and uncertainty reflected in their eyes.

"Can we see him?" Steve asked.

"Right this way," Dr. Anderson led them out of the waiting area to the ICU where Danny was in a glass walled room laying, frail and broken, on a hospital bed. Rori stared at the heart monitor as it beeped a steady rhythm and relished in the small confirmation that Danny was, for the moment, still alive.

"Oh Danno," Steve said. No one else spoke as Steve gently squeezed Danny's hand. Steve was crying. Rori has never seen him cry before and, judging by their expressions, John and Hank hadn't either.

They settled in, taking up every seat in the room and just watched Danny and listened to the monitor beep away. It was going to be a long day.

Rori's phone startled her from the sleep she had drifted off to. She silenced it and glanced around the room. Steve was asleep in the chair next to Danny's bed, head slumped forward and arms crossed over his chest. John and Hank were both on the small couch by the window, Hank was snuggled up in the crook of John's arm and John held the doctor protectively. She slipped out of the room and checked to see who had called. It was the Chief. She dialed his number and watched the guys through the glass wall of Danny's room. What outsiders must think of the scene inside the room…

"Rori, you were right," the Chief said in lieu of a greeting as he answered her call.

"About Sanchez?" she asked.

"Yes, he had a large sum of money deposited in his account a few days after your accident," the Chief said.

"So, not an accident," she replied. "I suppose we can't trace the money?"

"I'm working on that," he replied. "It was a cash deposit. I'm at the bank now trying to get video footage."

"That's a long shot, but thanks for the update," Rori said.

"How is Williams doing?"

"Hanging in there, he's stable but still hasn't woke up so we have no clue of if there's brain damage or not," she said.

"How are you and the guys holding up?" he asked.

"I don't know yet," she replied. "Get that footage and let's talk to Sanchez. I want to know why this whole thing happened."

"Understood," he said.

"I gotta go," she said when she heard alarms from Danny's room. She ended the call and ran in after several nurses. They crowded around Danny's bed with Hank. John and Steve had been pushed back against the wall. Danny was kicking and rolling back and forth in the bed.

"What's happening?" Rori asked.

"He's breathing over the vent," Hank replied without looking up. He was leaning over Danny and gently grabbed his face in both hands. "Danny, Daniel, I need you to calm down. Don't fight that tube," Hank said firmly. Danny calmed, his body went still and he stared Hank in the eyes. "I'm gonna take it out, okay."

"Dr. Lawson, I'd rather if we waited for Dr. Anderson," one of the nurses said. "He's not your patient."

Hank stared at her as if she'd just kicked his puppy.

"I'm sorry, Hank. Dr. Anderson doesn't want you treating him," the other nurse said.

Rori wasn't exactly sure what that was about. What she was sure about was the panic she saw in Danny's eyes. What it must be like for him to wake up in a strange room with a tube crammed down his throat. She knew his claustrophobia had to be in overdrive.

Dr. Anderson breezed into the room a moment later and shared a look with the nurse, who stepped aside to give him space at Danny's bedside.

"Detective Williams, I'm Dr. Anderson," he introduced himself calmly. "It looks like you're breathing on your own now. I'm going to take the ventilator off and get that tube out of your throat. I just need to have your family step out." He said that last part with a pointed look at Hank.

They all waited for just a second before turning to the door. They stood against the wall, hand in hand, and waited without a word. It was only a few minutes before Dr. Anderson stepped out.

"He's going to be tired and groggy. His throat may be sore, which will make it difficult for him to speak,"Dr. Anderson said. "I did a basic neurological exam, he doesn't appear to have any lasting damage, however, there may be some memory loss. Only time will tell."

"Thank you, Dr. Anderson," Rori said. "Can we go back in now?"

"Go ahead," he replied. He stepped aside to let them pass.

They filed into the room and surrounded Danny's bed. Steve stood across from Rori and they each held one of Danny's hands while John and Hank each rested a hand on his legs.

"Hey you," Rori said softly.

"Rori," he said. His voice was forced and pained.

"Don't talk, babe, " Steve said.

"No, Sanchez, was, paid," Danny said, pausing in between each word. "A hit."

"I know, I just don't know why yet," Rori said. Steve, John, and Hank gave her a questioning look. She realized she hadn't had a chance to share that news. "And why they haven't come for me since."

"They are," Danny said. He pulled his hand away and held his throat as if it would help the pain.

"Drink some water, Daniel, it'll help," Hank said as he handed a cup with a straw over to Steve, who helped Danny take a sip.

"My phone," Danny said after he'd taken a second.

"Danny, conserve your energy," Rori said.

"Rori, listen, please," Danny said.

"Okay," Rori said with an understanding look. "Where's his phone?" She asked Hank.

Hank went over to the dresser that was built right into the wall and pulled out a clear bag with his personal belongings, including his badge, gun, and phone. She took the phone from Hanks outstretched hand and typed in the unlock code. There were photos open of Sanchez with another man. The photos were taken inside the trailer house from the kitchen. She knew the man.

He'd robbed a bank. She'd seen his face, but they'd never identified him. She'd always thought he'd run with the money and that was that. The robbery had happened over a year before her accident and she had never forgot it, but there hadn't ever been a lead, especially not one that connected the robbery and her accident, so she'd just kept the file in her desk.

"Oh my god," she said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"This guy robbed a bank three years ago. The police never identified him, but I had seen his face during the robbery," she said.

"And you never thought to mention it?" Steve asked.

"I didn't think the robbery and my accident were connected, I thought he ran with the money," she defended. It wasn't like she had purposely kept it a secret. It had never been pertinent.

"There were never any leads on him," John said.

"You knew that she could identify a dangerous bank robber and you didn't say anything?" Steve questioned.

"Hey, we weren't trying to hide it from you. We all have things in our pasts that could put us all in danger. None of us openly share or discuss any of it," John said with his angry Colonel glare.

"He's right," Hank agreed.

"We have to assume that Danny is on that hit list too. The news has been all over this thing and they have said he survived," Rori said. "John, Hank, stay with him. No one gets in here unless they are hospital staff and are providing care. Steve, you're with me, we're going to talk to Sanchez."

"Rori," Danny spoke up.

"Danno, rest, that's an order," she said.

"Be careful," he said.

"Of course, babe," she replied. She squeezed his hand, gave him a quick kiss, and stepped back. Steve leaned down and kissed Danny's forehead softly. He then leaned his own forehead against Danny's and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Don't die while I'm gone, Danno," Steve said. "Just don't die."

"I'm not gonna die," Danny assured him. "Now go."

Steve stepped back and headed out the door without another word. Rori followed quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

_Show me what it's like_

 _To be the last one standing_

 _And teach me wrong from right_

 _And I'll show you what I can be_

 _Say it for me, say it to me_

 _And I'll leave this life behind me_

 _Say it if it's worth saving me_

Rori and Steve stalked into the interrogation room at MDC. Sanchez was sitting behind the steel table, hands cuffed in front of him and a smirk plastered on his face.

"Director, I wondered when I would see you and your lap dog again," Sanchez greeted her.

"Mr. Sanchez, I know you were paid to run me off the road that night. I want to know who paid you," Rori said.

The Chief had looked at the video footage, which just showed Sanchez depositing the money in his account. It was of no help to them in identifying the robber. Which is really what she had expected, but she had to at least try.

"You really think I'm going to tell you? No, I'm going to exercise my right to remain silent," he said. "I don't gotta talk to the police."

"We talked about this. We aren't the police. We're Five-O. We have immunity of means and we aren't afraid to use it," she said.

"I don't know what that means," he said.

"That means that I don't have to take your rights into account," Steve said as he walked around to stand next to Sanchez. "It means that I can do whatever I deem necessary to get the information I need from you."

"The little bit you saw last night was just a preview," Rori added. She walked around to stand on the other side of Sanchez. "You already took everything from me, which makes my lap dog very protective. Then you had to go and shoot Danno, which just makes my lap dog aggressive."

"Is that supposed to scare me?" Sanchez asked.

"Well, I don't know, are you scared of a man who has successfully interrogated terrorists?" she asked. Sanchez didn't flinch. "Steven, I think you need to show him. I'm gonna step out cause I don't want to get blood on my shoes."

Rori headed for the door.

"Guard!" Sanchez shouted, his eyes wide with fear, finally. The guard opened the door and stuck his head in. "Get me away from these psychos!"

"Sorry, they have jurisdiction. Besides, Officer Denning was my friend," the guard said. He closed the door.

"So, Roberto, what's it gonna be?" Rori asked. She turned back to face him. "Am I going to walk out and let Steve do his thing or am I going to stay and get the answers to my questions?"

He seemed to consider it, glancing at Steve with weary eyes before fixing her with a determined stare.

"I take that as a no," she said. "I'll just be outside."

She stepped out and closed the door. The guard was standing next to the door and nodded to her as she stood on the other side. They heard muffled shouts of fear and pain coming from inside the room.

"So, how's the baby?" she asked nonchalantly.

"She's good, growing fast," he replied.

"Good good," she said.

A loud scream followed by a solid thud broke through the door and the guard gave her a concerned look.

"He won't hurt him… too bad," she said. Another scream broke the awkward silence that had followed her statement. The door flew open and Steve stormed out.

"He's gonna need to go to the infirmary," Steve said.

Rori peeked around Steve into the room. Sanchez was laying on the table with blood streaming from his nose. He pulled himself upright and glared at her.

"You bitch! I'll get off for this and you're gonna pay!" he shouted as the door closed.

"What'd you get?" Rori asked Steve.

"Got an ID and a location," Steve said.

"Have a good day, James," she said to the guard as she and Steve headed for the door.

"You too!" James called after them.

John met them at the hotel where they confirmed that Richard Black, the man from the robbery and Sanchez's house, was in his room.

"That's him," Rori said, pointing to the man on the security footage of Black in the lobby of the hotel. Steve was a few feet away coordinating with SWAT.

"Maybe you should wait down here," John suggested quietly so no one else could hear.

"John, I'm fine," Rori said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I?" she questioned, a little annoyed but she tried to remember that he was just showing he cared.

"Because you're rubbing your scar," he said. He grabbed her left hand and held it so her wrist was up, to expose the scar from when she had slit her wrist after the accident. She hadn't noticed she'd been rubbing it, but the raised tissue was bright red. He gently ran his finger over it.

"A lot was different then, John, I'm not going to try to kill myself," she said. He knew she'd tried back then out of survivor guilt and grief, two things he suffered from himself so he knew they never really went away. "I've changed since then. I'm not a coward anymore."

"You were never a coward. We'll talk more later, you're gonna need it," he said. He gave her his little smirk and nodded toward the elevator. "Let's go get this bastard."

"Thank you," she said. He was the one that knew her the best and knew her dark places very well.

"I got you," he said and walked with her over to where Steve was standing with SWAT.

"One of the keycards was just used at the laundry and another at the gym," Steve reported.

"Alright, John take out the laundry, Steve, hit the gym," she said. "I'll take the room."

They both gave her the same concerned look before nodding their acceptance of the orders.

"I'll send two of my guys with each of you," Cameron, the SWAT Commander offered. She nodded and he naturally fell into step next to her as she headed to the elevator. When it was just Cameron, Rori, and the other SWAT member Cameron turned to her. "Why did you pick the room?"

"Richard Black is a six foot, three hundred pound man who doesn't look like he's ever stepped foot in a gym. He's worth at least three point six million dollars and he declined housekeeping, which means he brought his own maid. So, if he's still in the hotel, he'll be in his room because he won't want to draw attention to himself while he plans to kill me," she said.

"If you're so sure, why did you split your team up?" he asked.

Rori didn't want to tell him that Steve and John were her moral compass. That they would stop her from doing what she planned to do. She didn't want to tell him that they knew why she'd sent them to the other locations and they didn't argue because they were considering putting a bullet between Black's eyes themselves.

"Because there's a chance I'm wrong and I can't afford to be wrong now," she said as the doors opened and they made their way to Black's room.

Cameron swiped the master key card and pushed the door open. Rori burst into the room, gun drawn. Black was sitting at the table. He slowly stood up with his arms above his head. She had hoped he'd pull a gun off the bat and give her a reason to end him.

"Richard Black, you're under arrest for armed robbery, conspiracy to commit murder, and funding a murder," Rori said. Her finger twitched on the trigger and she silently dared him to try something.

"Rorianna Rivera, what did I ever do to you to deserve a greeting like this?" he asked.

"You took everything from me," she said.

"I gave you everything. I made you who you are," he said.

He wasn't wrong. If it weren't for him she never would have gone on a rampage to find him, which caused her to get into street racing and to meet Steve and Danny. Had she never been in that accident she never would have met Hank and John wouldn't have become more than her best friend. Furthermore, she never would have been so casual with all of them which is what had led her to fall for all of them and had created her happy, crazy little ohana.

"You should thank me."

"I should put a bullet in your head," she growled.

"For what it's worth, the hit was for you and your lover, not your husband and kids," Black said.

"My lover?"

"See, I figured if your husband found out about you and the Colonel, not only would you be dead but your reputation would be ruined. You would go into the afterlife with the stain of your sin all over your soul," he said.

"Cameron, arrest this bastard before I do something I will regret," she said. She didn't have to entertain his assumptions. He was somewhat right, of course, John had been as close to a lover as she'd ever had while she was with her husband. They had spent a lot of time together outside of the store where she'd worked at the time. John had been a regular customer. How Black had known that, she wasn't sure and maybe it didn't matter.

Cameron drug Black from the room and toward the elevator. She initiated her comm mic.

"Guys," she said. "I've got him, he's in custody."

"Roger that, we'll be right up," Steve replied. She looked around the room and sighed. She never expected this to be over. She could finally move on with her life.

That night, Rori stood in her kitchen and stared at the bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter. She'd already had one glass and she knew she shouldn't have another, but why the hell not? She was alone with her thoughts and her whiskey and her service weapon. Her service weapon that was sitting next to her badge within arms reach. It was loaded. She didn't usually keep it on the counter, or loaded for that matter, but there was a hit out on her and it wasn't going to go away by arresting Black.

The front door opened, she thought she'd locked it. Her instincts were on high alert as she grabbed the gun and turned to lock it on the intruder. It was John.

"Whoa, maybe we should put that down," he suggested calmly.

She sat it back on the counter.

"I thought you'd be at the hospital," she said.

"Speak for yourself," he replied.

"I just needed some time to process everything," she said. "I'm a little overwhelmed."

"I bet," he said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. "Cameron told me what Black said."

"That the hit was for you and I?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," she replied. She stepped closer to him and rested her hand in the middle of his chest.

"I do," he said.

"No," Rori said firmly. She leaned in for a kiss and savored the feel of his lips against hers, the taste of him – beer mixed with a little bit of mint breath refresher – and let herself melt into him.


	6. Chapter 6

_There was a time when I would have believed them_

 _If they told me that you could not come true_

 _Just love's illusion_

 _But then you found me_

 _And everything changed_

 _And I believe in something again_

Rori, John, and Steve were met with the aroma of a home cooked meal when they arrived at her house after work. It was strange to her because she hadn't cooked a meal in her kitchen in months.

"That smells fantastic!" she said.

Danny was scurrying around the kitchen in an apron and chef hat, which had his name embroidered on the cuff.

"Thank you," he said. "You look like hell," he said. He looked her and John up and down, taking in their blood covered clothes. "What happened?"

"Rollover crash on the freeway," John said as he reached to steal something from the salad bowl. Danny swatted his hand away with a towel.

"Both of you go get cleaned up, dinner will be ready in just a few," Danny ordered.

"Yes sir," she said with a wink at John.

"No shenanigans, I don't want it to get cold," Danny said.

"We weren't thinking about shenanigans," John replied. "No shenanigans."

"Good, now go," Danny shoo'd them with the towel. "Hank should be home soon and we can eat."

John pulled her up the stairs by the hand, which made her think he had shenanigans on his mind.

"Danny said no shenanigans," she reminded when they reached the top.

"I know, but we both need a shower to get rid of all this blood…" he trailed off with his flirty little smirk.

"We could save our shenanigans for later, after dinner," she said. "When we can share the fun…"

"That's probably the best idea," he agreed.

She pulled the blood stained shirt over her head and slipped out of her jeans, tossing them in the washer before heading to the shower. She stood under the hot water with her eyes closed and just let it stream over her, washing the grime of the day away. She felt strong arms, John's arms, encircle her. He pulled her close. His skin was warm against her's and he was clearly excited to join her.

"John, Danny is going to kill us," she said as she tried to steady herself against the wave of excitement that flooded her.

"I don't know what you're talking about, there's nothing happening here except a shower," he whispered in her ear.

"So, you're just teasing me then?" she asked.

"Building anticipation," he corrected.

With all the care in the world, he washed her hair and lathered her with body wash. Then, stepped back to admire his handiwork as the water rinsed the soap off.

"Now, out so I can have the water," he ordered playfully.

"You're the devil, John Sheppard," she replied.

"You love me though," he said with that innocent grin he'd mastered so well. "I set something out for you on the bed."

"What?" she questioned as she slipped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel.

"Outfit on the bed, wear it," he said.

"Um, okay," Rori replied. She was all set to slip into some sweats and a tank top. "You setting the stage for something?"

He was definitely setting the stage. The outfit was the little black bodycon mini dress they all loved so much. She smelled a set up. For what, she wasn't sure but she had a feeling she would like it. It smelled like more of a set up when he emerged from the bathroom a moment later in a white button down shirt, the top button undone with the sleeves rolled neatly up. It was tucked into the top of a nice pair of jeans.

"What are you guys up to?" she asked.

"Just put the dress on," he said. "And stop asking questions."

Rori gave in and slipped into the dress.

"I'm not wearing shoes," she announced, hanging on to her lazy, comfy mood as much as she could.

"That's okay, no shoes necessary," he replied. He offered his hand, which she took, and lead her down the stairs to the kitchen where Steve, Danny, and Hank waited. They were dressed similar to John. Steve rocked a black button down, Danny a light blue one, and Hank a Navy blue one. The table was set with candles, a table cloth, and fancy plates she knew they hadn't found in her kitchen.

"Okay guys, what's going on?" she asked.

"We wanted to treat you to a nice dinner," Steve said. "Sit," he pulled out the chair at the head of the table.

She was suspicious. This was the first time they had done something like this. Once she was seated they all took their seats.

"You didn't have to do all of this," she said.

"Yes, we did," Steve said. He sat a tiny box in front of her plate. Her heart fluttered for a second with excitement and anticipation.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Open it," Hank said.

Rori opened the box with shaky hands. Inside was a ring. The center stone was a large emerald, her birthstone, and it was framed with two pearls and two peridots, their birthstones.

"We have a proposal, or this is a proposal, or – help me out here, guys," John said.

"It's a proposal," Steve confirmed.

"Obviously a legal marriage is not an option," Danny said, sensing where her mind was going, "But after everything that's happened, we want to make a commitment, vows to you and each other."

Rori's heart skipped a few more beats. She hadn't expected this. She wanted this more than she had ever imagined, though.

"You all want this?" She asked.

"We do," Hank replied. John and Steve confirmed their agreement with nods.

"Wait, do you want this?" Danny asked.

"More than anything in the world," she replied.

"Good, cause we already bought our tickets to Hawaii," Steve said with a wink.

"When?"

"Next week," John said. "We figured there's no time like the present, especially with our lifestyle."

"We can't just drop our duties, we have a responsibility —" Rori started but Steve cut her off with a raised hand.

"I took the liberty of speaking with the Governor," he said. "Chief White is going to cover Five-O for us with a couple of his detectives."

"You've been working nonstop for two years, we all have. We need a break and there's no better reason to take one," Hank said.

Rori couldn't help but grin, ear to ear, as she slipped the ring on her finger. This is right where she wanted to be.


	7. Chapter 7

_Time stands still  
Beauty in all she is  
I will be brave  
I will not let anything, take away  
What's standing in front of me  
Every breath, every hour has come to this_

 _One step closer_

Rori sat in the master bedroom of Steve's house in Hawaii. He kept the house because he'd grown up in it. It held more than just his belongings, it was home for him. She suspected it would become home for all of them. Being in Hawaii had gotten her to thinking a lot about their future and what their next step was. She liked where it was going.

She admired her reflection in the mirror on top of his dresser. She'd picked a short, sleek red dress and, since they were having the ceremony on the beach, she chose to go barefoot. It was the best way to do all the important things in life. The sleeveless top of the dress exposed the scar that ran from her collarbone to her elbow where she'd been injured in the car accident. It seemed like it was just yesterday yet, at the same time, she felt like she had lived a lifetime with the guys. There was a light knock on the door and Grace, Danny's daughter, came in.

"You look beautiful, Aunty," she said.

"Thank you," Rori replied. "Grace, are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Of course I am!" Grace said. "Danno and Uncle Steve have belonged together for a long time. And I see the way he looks at you, John, and Hank. He loves you, which means that I love you."

Grace's acceptance and innocence on the matter was refreshing. Rori's own family had disowned her. John's brother refused to come, but he swore it was because the family business was keeping him busy and that his absence had nothing to do with the nature of their relationship. Hank's family were oddly open minded about it, but still hesitant and couldn't get away on such short notice. They'd promised to watch the ceremony via FaceTime. Steve's sister and niece, like Grace and several of Steve and Danny's Hawaiian friends, were more than happy to attend. Mary, Steve's sister, had said the announcement hadn't surprised her in the least with the way that Steve had talked about them. Rori had no idea he had been so open about them with his sister.

"Are you ready?" Grace asked, breaking Rori from her thoughts.

"Yes ma'am," Rori replied.

"I'll let them know," Grace hurried off out the door and down the stairs.

Rori waited a few minutes and headed down the stairs herself. John, Steve, Hank, and Danny were waiting at the bottom for her. They were dashing, each of them wearing an open-collar red button-down shirt and white slacks. They'd joined her in their bare feet. Danny held out his hand for her, which she took as she stepped off the last step of the staircase.

"Before we do this, I have to ask again, are you guys one hundred percent sure you want to do this?" Rori asked.

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't," Hank replied.

"A hundred and ten percent," Steve agreed.

"Affirmative," John said.

Danny didn't say anything and they all looked at him expectantly. "Danny?" Rori asked.

"They already said what I was going to say, so," Danny said.

"Wait, Danno is speechless?" Steve asked. "Check him for a fever.

"Really? Don't ruin this, Steven," Danny replied. Steve reached over and took Danny's hand and squeezed it gently. Rori took John's hand and he reached for Hank.

"Let's do this thing!" Rori said excitedly. Steve lead them to the back door toward the little patch of beach that butted up against the back of Steve's property. The few people that had come were gathered in several groups. Steve's sister and niece were standing in the shade at the edge of the grass. Steve and Danny's friends from the Hawaii based Five-O team Tani, Junior, Lou, Jerry, and Adam as well as Kono, Chin and Sarah all waited out on the sand. Steve and Danny's long time CI Kamekona and his cousin, Flippa also joined them. They were close to the water edge, the waves lapping at their bare feet, where Kamekona was happily waiting to officiate. Grace and Charlie, Danny's son, met them at the end of the path that lead to the beach.

"Everyone is waiting, but Hank's family wanted to say hi," Grace said. She held up the phone so that they could see Hank's family.

"Henry! You guys look sharp!" Evan, Hank's brother, said. He had been a little weirded out about his brother's announcement about their relationship, but he had said that he'd always' known there was something different about Hank.

"Thank you, Evan," Hank said. "So glad you guys can digitally attend." Rori wasn't sure if he was kidding or not. He seemed a little hurt. He and Evan had been very close, even running a business together for a long time. She watched his eyes and decided he was being more sarcastic than serious.

"We're gonna come out to Albuquerque, I promise," Evan said. "Just need more than a week's notice."

"We're so happy for you!" Paige, Evan's wife, popped into the screen.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go get married now," Hank said. "Thank you for making it possible for them to do this, Grace."

"Of course!" Grace replied. She'd happily volunteered to hold the phone so that Hank's family could somewhat attend. She lead her brother off to the beach to join Kamekona and Flippa.

Rori was suddenly so excited she couldn't contain it. She felt like she was beaming. She'd never thought she'd come this far with anyone ever again and being here felt so perfect. They headed over to Kamekona and stopped in a semi-circle around him. Kamekona gave each of them a hug.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate love, a union," he said. "We all knew that MacGarrett and Danno belong to getha, but now they are complete. I believe they have all preh-pared vows. Miss Rori, would you like to go first?"

"Of course," she said. They stood with their hands still joined, their semi-circle formed in such a way that she could see each of their faces. "When I was thinking about my vows I kept going back to the traditional wedding vows, all the values and promises ring true without saying, but they didn't seem fitting for us." The guys gave her a quizzical look. "Traditional vows don't quite cover sharing a liver," she nodded to Steve and Danny. "They don't say anything about repeatedly and literally putting each other back together." She regarded Hank with a happy smile. "Those vows don't include anything about making our own rules." She locked eyes with John then, that was his specialty without a doubt. "Or telling death where to shove it. Or being incredible together. Or being superheroes." She felt tears, happy tears, slide down her face. "So, I decided it was best to make my own promise and I feel like it's a mutual promise."

"Alright," Steve said. "Let's hear it."

"My promise to each one of you is this: I will walk hand in hand with you wherever this life takes us. You will always get to be my right seater, my backseat driver, my navigator, and my chauffeur. I will be fierce. I will be unstoppable. I will do whatever it takes. I will go to hell and back if that's what's necessary."

They all stared at her for a moment with looks of total adoration and love on their faces. She wasn't sure about the silence, it made her a little nervous and she nibbled at her lip.

"Well, I was gonna say I'd never leave your side, but it sounds a little cliché now," John said.

"I'm with John, why'd you have to go be all intense?" Danny asked.

"Because we're intense, correct me if I'm wrong," Rori said.

"We're fierce," Steve said with a nod.

"Unstoppable," Hank added.

"To hell and back," Danny and John both confirmed.

"To hell and back," Rori, Steve, and Hank echoed back.

They all reverently bowed to each other.

"Well," Kamekona said after a moment of silence as he wiped tears off his face. "By the powa invested in me by the island of Oahu, I know pronounce you husbands and wife. You may kiss."

They shared a group hug and passed around kisses. "Wait, one more thing," Steve said. Flippa stepped forward with an arm full of gorgeous white leis. Steve took them and placed one on each of them, Rori took one and looped it around Steve's neck. "Alright!" Steve said after a moment, "there's food inside and we're gonna kick on some music for your dancing delight. Thank you all for coming!"

The small crowd clapped and shouted as the newlyweds lead the way up to the house. For once, Rori's future looked bright.


	8. Chapter 8

_I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)  
To take a stand (to take a stand)  
Everybody (everybody)  
Come take my hand (come take my hand)  
We'll walk this road together, through the storm  
Whatever weather, cold or warm  
Just letting you know that you're not alone  
Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)_

Rori and Danny were kicked back in the beach chairs that had, apparently, been put there by Steve's parents back in the day. Steve and John had gone for an ocean swim and Hank was still asleep. She inspected the new tattoo around her left wrist. Rings were too temporary and traditional. None of them would wear a ring anyway, so matching tattoos seemed the most fitting.

The tattoo was a Hawaiian Lei with hibiscus and hearts intertwined all the way around her wrist and the words "hell and back" across the inside of her wrist. The tattoo artist had told her that the ink wouldn't take very well on the scar tissue she still had there, but she couldn't tell much difference. He'd carefully placed the lettering right along the edge of the scar.

"Excuse me," a female voice came from behind them and interrupted Rori's thoughts. Rori turned in the chair to face the owner. She was on the short side of average height with dark bronze skin and deep brown eyes. Rori had never been attracted to a woman, but if she were to be, this would be the one. She was quite gorgeous. "I am looking for John Sheppard, I was told I could find him here." Rori regarded her curiously, trying to place the accent. She was wearing a pair of black tactical pants and a cropped tank top that exposed her perfectly flat stomach. This definitely wasn't Nancy, John's ex. From what he'd told Rori of her, she was the skirt wearing, business type.

"Teyla, Sam says our window is pretty small," a man said as he walked up. He was the opposite of attractive. Not very athletic, obviously, with pale skin and a receding hairline. "You find him?"

"I was just asking these nice people," Teyla, the woman, said with an annoyed tone.

"Can I ask who's looking for him" Rori asked.

"I am Teyla Emmogan, this is Rodney McKay," Teyla introduced both of them.

"Doctor Rodney McKay," the man corrected.

"We are old colleagues of John's and we need to speak to him," Teyla continued.

"He's out for a swim," Rori said. "Should be back in just a few minutes." She tossed Danny a questioning glance and he shrugged his shoulders. He'd clearly never heard of these two before either. Rori could only make one assumption from that: they were from his sealed file, from his black ops days.

"We don't have a few minutes, Teyla, time is not on our side," McKay said. "Where is he swimming?"

Rori just pointed in the general direction the guys had gone.

"So no way to contact him, then?" McKay asked.

"Nope, but they've been out for awhile and should be back soon," Danny said. "Want some coffee or something?"

"It's really nice coffee," Rori commented as she took a swig of her own.

"No thank you," Teyla replied.

"I could use some, actually," McKay replied.

"I'll be back," Danny got up and headed to the house.

"Wake up sleeping beauty while you're in there," Rori called after him.

An awkward silence filled the air until John and Steve broke the surface a little ways out. They swam until the water was shallow enough to stand and started jogging to shore. Steve playfully shoved John back into the water and John pulled Steve with him.

"He's frolicking with a guy?" McKay asked.

Rori felt even more awkward. She could feel how uncomfortable that concept was to McKay and yet, there was something else there… something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She sprang from the chair and jogged out to the water line.

"Boys! Wrap it up!" she shouted. "John has visitors!"

Steve and John both shrugged their shoulders and indicated they couldn't hear her with a hand to their ear so she waved them in. Then John caught sight of his visitors. A look of surprise and… was that dread? crossed his face. Steve laid a hand on his shoulder and John shrugged it off and ran in to meet them.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, no greeting, no pleasantries.

"We are here to request your assistance," Teyla said. "Ronan is missing."

"What kind of missing?" he asked. There was a hint of anger and fear in his voice.

"He was attempting to gather some much needed intel and was captured," Teyla said. "The new expedition leaders believed the risk is too great to launch a rescue. We already lost three men in the first rescue attempt."

John glanced from the visitors to the Ohana and back to the visitors.

"You're sure he's alive?" John asked.

"He is more valuable to them alive," Teyla replied.

"I'm assuming you have a plan, if you're here, so what is it?" John asked. Rori could tell that he had already decided to go, wherever it was, to help. Ronan must be, or have been, pretty important to him.

"It is of a sensitive nature," Teyla replied with a glance at Steve and Rori. McKay just stared at Steve as if he were a disease as the three of them stepped out of earshot.

"Any idea what's going on?" Steve asked.

"You know as much as I do," Rori replied.

She watched John's body language as he conversed with them and headed back toward the house. He didn't say anything as he passed them.

"John?" she called after him.

"Not now!" he shouted back over his shoulder and stormed inside. Rori and Steve jogged after him. Danny and Hank were in the living room with questioning looks on their faces.

"We don't know," Rori said before they could ask. They headed up the stairs together to find John in the bedroom throwing clothes into a bag. "John, talk to us."

"A very close friend of mine was captured by some very bad people. I need to go rescue him. I owe him my life. It's my turn," he said.

"These are the kind of things we help each other with," Rori said.

"Not this time," John said as he continued to throw clothes in the bag. "I can't include you guys in this."

"Those are my pants you just threw in that bag, so I think you are including us," Danny said as he put a steadying hand on John's arm. John stopped and stared into the bag with his jaw set and his brow crinkled in that angry, determined way he had.

"We'll go with you and help you," Steve said.

"You can't," John said. "Even if I wanted you too, it's classified."

"Don't worry about that," McKay said from behind them. Rori hadn't realized he'd followed them. This guy knew no boundaries. "I took the liberty of reading up on you people a little, we could use the help and a doctor would definitely be useful." Rori wasn't even going to ask how he had researched them that quickly. There was no way he had done much research on them, but her guess would have been that he pulled their government files, which would show Steve's service history and all their affiliation with Five-O.

"It's too dangerous," John said firmly.

"John, hell and back," Rori reminded as she grabbed his hand and held it up so he could see his tattoo for emphasis. "Whatever it takes."

"This might actually be hell," John said. He looked at each of them and hesitated for a second. "But, Rodney's right. We do need help and I know you guys can handle it."

"Then let's go to hell," she replied with a grin.


	9. Chapter 9

_All alone as you look through the door  
Nothing left to see  
If it hurts and you can't take no more  
Lay it all on me_

 _No you don't have to keep it on a locking key  
'Cause I will never let you down  
And if you can't escape all your uncertainties  
Baby I can show you how_

When he'd said it might be hell, Rori had imagined Afghanistan, maybe Bagdad or somewhere else that was hot. Not space. She'd never even thought space was an option. Who would? It was like she was in some kind of dream where the reality she knew was just a sliver of the truth.

Teyla and Rodney had parked in the front yard in a small space ship that John had called a Puddle Jumper.

"We're going to space!?" Danny asked. Rori could see the panic edging in his eyes. "In this?"

"Yes," John replied. He sat down at the controls and powered the ship up like it was second nature. "Just like a car."

"Actually, not just like a car," Rodney said as he brushed passed them to join John in the cockpit. "It's air tight and built thousands of years ago."

"Thousands of years?" Danny asked.

"Danny, don't worry. It's just like a car," John said. He glared at Rodney.

"Danno, you don't have to go," Rori said. "If you want to take a little more recovery time, there's no shame…"

"No, I'm good. It's just like a car," he said, trying to convince himself. Rori could tell he was having a claustrophobic moment.

"You sure you're okay?" Steve asked. Danny nodded and sat down on the bench that ran along the length of the rear portion of the ship. Rori went into the cockpit and stood behind John at the pilot's seat.

"He okay?" John asked quietly.

"He's good, or will be," Rori assured. "This is really cool."

"Right?!" he said. He looked like a kid coming home on Christmas. Steve appeared next to her and rested his hand on the small of her back.

"Sheppard, you've been holding out on me, babe," Steve said.

"You guys understand that I couldn't tell you, right? By law, they could have put me in prison," he said. "The only reason I was able to tell you now is because General Carter approved it and you signed those papers. I just—"

"John," Rori cut him off. "You're rambling. It's okay, we understand."

The ship started to raise off the ground, but Rori didn't feel a thing. She glanced back at Danny. Hank was sitting with him trying to keep him calm but she wasn't sure it was working.

"So, these aliens that have taken your friend, they're pretty bad?" Rori asked. It sounded so foreign coming out. Impossible, really.

"Yeah, they've wiped out whole civilizations," John said with that disgusted twitch in the corner of his lip. "I really didn't want to expose you guys to them. I'm sorry."

"John, we're here for you," Rori said. "No matter what." He nodded and gave an apprehensive smile. "Earth looks so small," Rori added as John turned the ship so the could see.

"It's beautiful," Steve agreed.

"Where are we going, Rodney?" John asked. He was dismissive of their admiration, not so much that he didn't agree, but like he'd seen it a thousand times. Maybe he had.

"PHX-986," Rodney replied. "It's the closest gate we could get access to. Should take about six hours to get there."

"Six hours?" John asked. "Ronan is in the hands of the Wreith and six hours is the best you can do?!"

"We're crossing to another galaxy, so six hours is actually not that long in the grand scheme of things," Rodney quipped back.

"Okay, so after 986?" John asked with a conceding tone.

"From there we gate to the new Midway station, where Sam is waiting with a few supplies, then to the planet we think there might be a Wreith stronghold," Rodney explained.

"New Midway station, huh?" John asked. "I thought everyone agreed it wasn't a good idea to rebuild that."

"A lot has changed since you quit," Rodney said.

"Retired, I retired Rodney," John said defensively. "And it wasn't my choice."

"You could have come back," Rodney said. "They offered you a pardon so you could come back."

"I know exactly what they offered," John snapped. He glanced at Rori and Steve. "I couldn't come back, I had reasons to stay on Earth." He stood up and headed to the back. "I assume you can still fly. I'm gonna check on Danny."

Rori shared a confused, quizzical look with Steve. "I'm gonna," Steve said with a nod to the rear compartment. Rori just nodded and took the seat John vacated.

"They offered to let him come back to all of this?" Rori asked once she was alone with Rodney. She admired the control panel of the ship. It was covered in buttons, she assumed, that looked like crystals. Each with a symbol on it that she couldn't even begin to describe, let alone read.

"Yeah, two years ago," Rodney replied.

"You realize he was forced to retire, right?" she asked. She didn't know why or what had happened, but she knew the Air Force had offered him retirement during a court martial.

"Yes, but I was able to convince them he was invaluable, which he is, but he refused to come back. I guess he couldn't deal with the military not allowing his kind of people," Rodney said. He stared over his shoulder to the back where John was kneeling in front of Danny with a reassuring hand on his knee.

"His kind of people?" Rori asked.

"Gays, you know," Rodney said. He was clearly uncomfortable with it, but not shy to confront it. There was something more, again, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Rori could tell she was about to find out, though.

"I don't think that has anything to do with it," Rori said. "He's not exactly gay, so it doesn't really apply."

"It's none of my business," Rodney said. "I just thought of him as my brother, so it feels like maybe I never really knew him like I thought."

"That makes two of us," Rori said. She ran her finger along the scar on the inside of her wrist. "When did they offer him to come back, the date?"

"I think it was in June two years ago, I don't know the exact day," Rodney replied.

"June two years ago," she let it sink in because he had sacrificed going back to the military for her. She tried to think back to the days surrounding her suicide attempt, but it was fuzzy. She wanted to believe that he'd just decided he wanted to stay with her because he loved her, but she had a feeling and it was gnawing at her heart.

"Why? Is that date important?" Rodney asked.

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you thought," she said. She wasn't sure what she meant by it, but Rodney apparently had an image of what John was like that was different than the one she had.

"I just don't understand why he would quit. We needed him and he was frolicking on a Hawaiian beach," Rodney said. He looked like John had betrayed him and maybe it felt that way. That was the thing that had been lurking under the surface of Rodney's reactions. Betrayal. Rori didn't feel like it was her place to comment on John's decisions or feelings, especially when she was feeling pretty confused in that moment. She also knew she didn't have the whole story. She trusted John and she knew there had to be a reason he'd made the decision he had. But, her gut told her that she was the reason and it wasn't as romantic as it sounded.

The cockpit fell into silence and Rori watched out the forward window as they approached planet after planet until they'd left the solar system. Teyla came to sit with them, which only increased the awkward feeling that filled the air.

"Excuse me," Rori said as she stood to head to the back. Hank and Steve had gotten Danny involved in a card game to distract him from the cramped space, or the knowledge that they were flying through space, she wasn't sure which was worse for him. John was sitting on the end of the bench, as close to the rear hatch as he could get, intently reading something on a rugged looking tablet. She sat next to him and regarded him carefully. He was defensive, so she felt like she should tread lightly, but they were stuck in this box for another five hours and twenty-eight minutes. She couldn't sidestep what he already knew that she'd figured out. Even if she hoped she was wrong. "You okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he replied without looking up from the tablet.

"So, Rodney used to be a pretty good friend?" she asked.

"Yeah, my team consisted of Rodney, Teyla, and Ronan, the guy we're rescuing," he replied. "They were like family but it's kinda hard to keep in contact when they're in another galaxy."

"I get that, even if I didn't know it was possible two hours ago," she said. "I also get that you love this stuff. The light in your eyes when you sat in the pilot seat was unmistakable."

"This ship is the best thing I've ever flown. It literally responds to my every thought. It's like an extension of me," he said excitedly as he looked up from the tablet. There was that light again, the kid in John Sheppard coming out to play.

"So, a team that's like family, a ship you love flying, a war with an alien race to fight, why'd you give it up?" she asked. She didn't want to, but she needed to hear him say it. He met her gaze and the hesitation returned to his eyes. "John?"

"Something happened, a village got destroyed by the Wreith, I could have tried to save them, but I decided to save my team instead. They forced me to retire," he replied.

"And they offered for you to come back," she said. She knew she needed to prod a little to get the answer she needed. "In June, two years ago."

"My priorities changed," he replied simply but his eyes fluttered to her hands for a brief second before returning to make eye contact with her.

"I would have been fine without you, I would have—"

"You would have bled out on your kitchen floor," he growled in a low voice so the others didn't hear. His eyes were full of regret and pain. "I was going to come back, but I found you, like that, I couldn't… Besides, I didn't really want to come back. I already gave so much to this war. The only thanks I ever got was yet another black mark on my record and a forced retirement. I couldn't come back because I had already given all I had to give to Atlantis and Pegasus. I lost myself somewhere in the chaos and you helped me remember who I was, helped me find who I am."

It hurt to know that he, on some level, regretted finding her that day. But, at the same time, it made more sense to her of why she'd done it in the first place. She and John had that bond for so long. She'd lost her family and she felt like she was losing him too. At the time, she thought she was reading too much into it, but now she knew she wasn't.

"You should tell Rodney that," she said before she slid down onto the floor next to Danny.

John stared at her for a moment before going to the cockpit where he started exchange a few words with his old teammates. She'd never been good at reading lips, she tried but all she got was something about training a monkey to eat pineapples and swim in pudding. She was pretty confident that's not what he was talking about. She could tell from the way he was gesturing to the rear compartment, to the Ohana, and the looks Rodney and Teyla shot in their direction, that he was explaining why he had chosen not to return. Teyla and Rodney both looked relieved and gave him hugs.

"What are you up to?" Steve asked.

"Nothing," she replied. "Just helping John mend a few fences." She winked at John, who had caught her eye, and took a deep breath. It would take her some time to move passed the regret she'd seen in John's eyes, but she knew she would and they would be stronger for it. She just hoped he could too. "Deal me in," she said, trying to focus on the here and now so that the past didn't creep it's ugly head in too much.


	10. Chapter 10

_If this is to end in fire_

 _Then we should all die together_

 _Watch the flames climb high into the night_

 _Calling out for the rope, sent by and we will_

 _Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain_

 _Side hey_

They're journey took them to another planet where there was an alien device that Rori could never have imagined. It was a huge ring that John described as a Stargate, which was pretty straightforward, a gate that transported the user to the stars. It was enough of an explanation for them, but Rodney went into a complicated explanation about how the gate worked. John rolled his eyes at his old friend and quickly tapped the symbols on the center console in some pre-determined order. The inside ring on the Stargate spun around and a liquid light spilled out of the center before settling back in a shimmering pool inside the ring. John guided the Jumper through the ring and they stopped in a large room. There was another Stargate across from them, it looked different, more elegant.

"Welcome back, Colonel Sheppard," a woman's voice filled the cockpit. Rori assumed it was some kind of built in communications.

"Only temporarily," John replied.

"I have a few supplies for you before you head to Pegasus," the woman said.

"We'll meet you in the bay, Sam," Rodney jumped in. He turned to John and pointed up. John maneuvered the little ship through a door in the ceiling and landed it on a platform that Rodney indicated.

"Very nice," John said. Obviously, the old Midway station wasn't as elaborate. He bounced out of the pilot seat as soon as the ship had stopped moving and headed for the back. He opened it up and led the group out. There were several docking platforms in the large, open bay. It could dock at least ten of the small ships and the center of the bay spanned from the door they'd come through all the way up to the top landing platform. They were about halfway up.

"Look Danny, not so cramped anymore," Steve teased.

Danny carefully looked over the edge of the platform. "Yes, cause this is much better," Danny snarked back. Rori gripped his hand reassuringly as a blonde woman joined them.

"General Carter," John greeted her with a hug. "Congratulations on the promotion."

"Thank you," Carter replied. "This the help that Rodney mentioned?"

"This is my wife, Rorianna Rivera and our husbands," John said, he paused a moment after that word to gauge the General's reaction.

"Husbands?" Carter asked.

"Yes. Commander Steve McGarrett, Doctor Hank Lawson, and Detective Danny Williams," John took on a proud tone, as if introducing them as his Ohana was the best decision he'd ever made.

"Congratulations on that," she replied. She seemed a little hesitant, but not judgmental.

"Thanks," John nodded his agreement as he rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Now, what supplies do we have?"

"Not much, I'm afraid," Carter said. "The Jumper and a few weapons. Some food and water." Carter headed down the corridor and John followed.

"So, who's the new Commander of Atlantis?" John asked.

"You're not going to like it," Carter replied.

"Caldwell?" John asked. Rori had heard that name before. John had told her stories of an angry man who had tried to steal his command.

"The IOA decided the job was too big for one person," Carter said. "So, there's a board."

"A board?"

"Six people, two are politician, two scientists, and two military officers," Carter said. "Lorne is one of them."

"Lorne?!" John spat the name as if it were a disease. His anger was evident. Rori knew that name too, but he'd never told her, only mumbled it when he was having one of his nightmares. "No wonder they left Ronan to die."

"You know Lorne is a good man, you trained him," Carter said as they stopped by a door. John didn't reply. "You guys need to get the gear you need and head out quickly, the maintenance team will be back soon and you'll need to be gone before they get back."

"Cloak and dagger, huh," John said.

"It was the only way," Teyla said.

"Doctor, I didn't realize you were coming, so I only put a basic first aide kit aside. Would you like to check the infirmary for some more useful tools?" Carter asked Hank.

"I brought some, but I could use a few things I didn't have on my honeymoon," Hank replied sarcastically and Carter nodded down the corridor.

"You're starting to sound like Danno, Henry!" Steve called after him as he and the General headed off.

"Is he upset?" Teyla asked, confused.

"He's just overwhelmed. This isn't necessarily his kind of thing," Steve said.

"I'm not gonna lie, I could definitely use a cigarette right about now," Rori said to let them know she was pretty stressed out by the whole idea of other worlds and galaxies and aliens.

"Just wait, it gets better," John said with that same child-like glint in his eyes. He pulled open a plastic case that contained a handful of P90s, a few .45s, and some extra clips.

"It's like a Steve McGarrett toybox," Danny said when he caught sight of the weapons. Another case had tack vests and holsters.

"This is all she could get us?" John asked.

"The station isn't stocked for missions or wars," Rodney said.

"This one has food," Teyla said as she peeked in another case. "And water."

"Thank God, I'm starving!" Rodney said. He grabbed a power bar and ripped it open. They each carried a case to the Jumper and waited. Hank and Carter returned a moment later. Hank looked just like a kid in a candy store.

"We ready?" John asked when Hank set down a few items.

"I believe we are," Teyla replied.

"Good, we're out of time," Carter said. "When you get to Pegasus you won't have much time to board the hive before it launches again."

"And you're sure Ronan is on board?" John asked.

"No, we think he's running," Carter said. "But his location should be in the database."

"Understood," John said. He was apprehensive at best. It didn't make sense, if Ronan was running he was free to come back for help. She felt like she was missing some big piece of the puzzle. The look on Steve's face said she wasn't the only one.

"Good luck, John," Carter said.

He nodded and stepped onto the Jumper. "All aboard!" he called. Rori had already headed to the cockpit to claim shotgun and sat down in the chair. The console lit up and startled her.

"Oh, look at that," Rodney said.

"What did I do?" she asked.

"You have the ATA gene," he said. "It's a common throwback gene handed down by the Ancients."

"It's not that common," John said as he took the pilots seat. "But it means you'll be able to operate the Lantean technology." He wasted no time guiding the Jumper back into the room with the gates.

"That's cool," Rori said. She wasn't sure what it meant, but she felt like it somehow brought her closer to this world of John's.

"Just be careful," John warned. "Lantean tech can be pretty responsive to naturals."

"Naturals?"

"People who have the gene naturally," Rodney said as if it were common knowledge. "You guys ready? There's no turning back from here."

"Hell and back," Rori said confidently.

"Yes, well, careful what you wish for," Rodney warned.

"Alright, once we're through, follow my lead. Don't trust what you see on the ground. They can make you see things," John said. He lined the ship up with the more elegant Stargate and punched another code on the console. "Henry, stay in the middle of the group and we'll protect you."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Hank replied. He was nervous. He shouldn't be with them. He wasn't a cop, or even a military medic. This kind of mission wasn't for an emergency room Doctor. Rori had always kept him off the front lines as much as she possibly could. Why she had allowed him to come was a mystery to her, but it wasn't just her decision anymore.

"Here goes," John nodded to them and the ship shot through the gate. They were on a planet a moment later.

"Take the Jumper straight onto the ship," Rodney said. The thing he pointed to looked like a mountain complete with trees growing in tight clumps and a river flowing down the side.

"That's a ship?" Steve asked. Sometimes it felt like they were in her head, this was one of those times.

"A hive ship to be exact," Rodney confirmed.

"You make these aliens sound like bugs," she said.

"They evolved from bugs," John replied with a shudder. There had to be a story behind that. She decided it was probably best not to ask before they went on the mountain ship of doom.

A silence fell over the group as the Jumper coasted into a cave looking opening in the ship's exterior. John landed on a platform in room that looked much like the Midway station's docking bay. He sprang from his seat like it was on fire and reached for the P90 he'd set aside.

"Where are we going, Rodney?" John asked.

"I need to get to a console so I can plug in and find out where they have him," Rodney replied.

"Alright. Steve, Danny, up front with me. Rodney and Hank in the middle. Rori and Teyla cover our six," John directed. Rori was more than happy to defer command to him. This wasn't a Five-O mission and she was way out of her element. She was woman enough to admit that. They nodded acceptance of their orders. "Thank you for coming, guys, it means a lot," John added. He opened the back hatch of the Jumper and they filed out. "Remember where we parked." He clicked a button on a small device and the Jumper disappeared.

Rori stared at the space that the Jumper had occupied and took a steadying breath. Her heart was racing and she could feel her adrenaline rising.

"It is best not to linger," Teyla said and nodded after John.

They followed John's lead to a small room with a pedestal in the middle. The walls were organic looking, almost like bone with bits of skin and tendrils hanging off them. There was a fog covering the floor that made her nervous about walking, like she could step on something or fall in a hole. Rodney rushed over to the pedestal and plugged the computer into it. The flat thing that Rori assumed was a screen showed symbols that Rodney could apparently read. John, Danny, Steve, Teyla, and Rori took up defensive positions at the door. John and Steve crouched down in front with Rori, Danny and Teyla several feet behind them and staggered just so they wouldn't get caught by friendly fire.

"Hurry up, Rodney," John said.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, they don't even know we're here yet," Rodney snapped.

"I'd rather them not know we're here at all, Rodney," John quipped back.

Rori could hear her own heart beating in her ears. The P90 was heavy in her hands and the trigger was solid, cold. It was more fire power than she normally preferred, but John had said she'd need it. He'd said if they didn't look human not to be shy about loading them up.

"Time's up, Rodney!" John shouted as a huge man with green skin, white hair, and some kind of mask over his face rounded the corner. Teyla and John opened fire simultaneously and the rest followed suit. Then men kept coming.

"Got it!" Rodney shouted. "He's here!" Rori could barely hear him over the sound of the weapons fire.

"Where?" John called out.

"Three levels up, holding cell," Rodney responded.

"Let's move!" John shouted.

Rori, Danny, and Teyla ceased fire a second before John and Steve stood up in front of them, continuing to fire. They were like choreographed performers, in sync for each and every move.

"Corridor on the left," Rodney guided.

Danny stepped up between Steve and John and helped lay down cover fire so the rest of them could move down the left corridor. Rodney led them to take the next right turn. He relayed directions for John and the guys through the radio. The gunfire behind them ceased and she heard the guys running to catch up.

"We held them off for now, but they'll send another wave," John reported. He took up the lead again and set a fast pace. Most of them had no trouble keeping up, but Rodney was starting to breath pretty heavily.

"Can we slow down?" Rodney asked.

"The Wraith know we're here," Teyla said, she had that slightly condescending, annoyed tone she'd taken with him earlier. "It is not wise to slow down."

"Suck it up, Rodney," John added.

"There's a transport at the end of the hallway," Rodney said after a moment of silence.

The door at the end looked like a spider web, which split open after John pressed a gooey looking spot on the wall. Rori shuddered at the thought of touching it. Wraith suddenly poured out of the door. John loaded the first one with bullets but the second one threw him aside and went for Steve. Rori pulled Hank back away from the aliens before opening fire herself, but the Wraith was right on top over her. She took a blow to the chest and fell backward. Her head bashed against the wall and darkness shrouded her vision.


	11. Chapter 11

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you, well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you, come please, I'm callin'  
And, oh, I scream for you  
Hurry, I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

"Rori," Hanks's voice broke through the haze and pain. Everything hurt: her head, her back, her neck, her chest. Her chest was more a pressure, almost like she was tied up with a bike chain. Not that she knew what that was like…

"Ouch," she said.

"She's awake," Hank said in a low voice over his shoulder. Suddenly, Steve and Danny were next to her, across from Hank. She tried to sit up, but her body wouldn't respond and the pain in her neck increased. She decided it was best to stay laying down.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"She's not okay," Danny said. He looked horrified.

"I'm fine," she said. "Just feel like I got hit by a bus and I can't seem to move. What happened?" The last thing she remembered was the Wraith everywhere and being thrown back.

"We got captured and, oh by the way, there's a big bug attached to your neck," Danny blurted out.

"I thought we were going to ease her into it," Steve said.

"Wait, a bug?" Rori asked.

"It is an Eratis Bug," Teyla said. Her voice was concerned and her eyes filled with worry as she knelt next to Hank.

"The bug the Wraith evolved from?" Rori asked. Teyla nodded wearily. "Am I gonna die?" Rori questioned. She was scared. Very scared. She could feel her heart beating faster and harder in her chest.

"Damnit!" she heard John shout from somewhere out of sight.

"John, you should be here, with Rori," Teyla said. "She does not have long."

Rori let her words sink in and she felt tears involuntarily slide down her face. She didn't want to die. She knew it was a likelihood each time they took a case, or mission, and there was a time that she would have given anything to die. But she was finally happy and she couldn't let that slip away. Then the panic started to settle in. She felt trapped. She hadn't felt trapped in a very long time.

"Hank, am I going to die?" Rori asked, her voice cracked under the pain and panic. She didn't sound at all like the strong, brave woman she pretended to be.

"The bug is draining your life, your energy," Hank said. "We can't get it off."

"Shoot it!" she said.

"No!" John snapped as he appeared next to her. He squeezed her hand tightly. "Even if the Wraith didn't take our guns, it won't work."

"How do you know? It's just a bug," she said. Then she thought about the scar on his neck. He'd never told her how he'd gotten it but she'd joked that it was a vampire bite. Never again.

"I've been through this," he said. "Anything we try will just cause you more pain."

"You survived," she said.

"Barely," he said. "They had to stop my heart and they almost didn't get me back."

"Before you say to do it, know that I don't have any of my equipment," Hank said. He knew her too well.

"So I'm gonna die?" she asked. No one said anything. John just walked away, out of sight. "Guys?"

"We're not giving up," Steve said. "Right, John?"

"We need to get out of this cell if we have any chance," John said. "Anyone have anything sharp?" No one volunteered anything. "Damnit!" John exclaimed again. He wasn't thinking straight. He was panicking. She'd seen it in his eyes.

"John," she said. He didn't respond. "Help me sit up, Hank," she said. Hank and Steve helped her sit, leaning her against the wall. "John," she said firmly. He came and knelt in front of her. "Calm down. Make a plan."

"Rori, I want you to know that I didn't give all of this up because you tried to kill yourself," he said. "I gave it up because I blamed myself. I should have been there for you instead of being caught in my own little world. I'm sorry."

"John, stop this, I am not going to die," she said confidently even if she wasn't sure. She knew they were strong, but he was scared and sometimes just needed a reminder of how amazing he was. "You're not going to let that happen."

He nodded at her before he pulled Teyla, Steve and Danny off to the side. They huddled together and started talking about possible escape options. The pain was increasing at a terrifying rate, which made her think she was running out of time. She already felt weaker than she had when she'd first regained consciousness. Hank brushed her hair from her face.

"I wish there was something more I could do for you," he said. He had that helpless look in his eyes and she knew it was killing him.

"There is, you could get me a cigarette," she said, half joking because she knew he would never go for it.

"They took your tack vest," he said apologetically. That's where she always kept her pack, but she also always had a backup. Stress was a thing, especially in her life, and that was her relief.

"There's one in my boot," she confessed.

"You sneaky, sneaky woman," he said. He checked her boot and retrieved the cigarette and lighter. "You know I would never condone this."

"Except you think I'm going to die," she said. The look on his face confirmed it as he started to light the cigarette for her.

"Don't," John said, appearing next to them and taking the contraband from Hank. John gave Hank a curious look before continuing. "If you light this, the Wraith will smell it. We don't need to hurry them along. Gotta buy as much time as we can."

"Wait, that's a great idea!" Rodney spoke up. Rori hadn't been sure he was even alive, he'd been so quite.

"How?" Steve asked.

"The Wraith com in, open the door, you guys ninja fight them, bam, we're out," Rodney explained as he motioned to John, Teyla, and Steve.

"That's not gonna work, we don't have any weapons and if we're out numbered we'll never make it out alive," Steve said.

"Now who's being negative?" Danny asked.

"Think this door would burn?" Hank asked from by the door. Rori hadn't noticed he'd walked away. "I mean, it's organic and flesh melts…"

"Probably, could work," Rodney said. "We could try, give me the lighter." John handed Rori's lighter over and Rodney went to the door.

"If this works I'm never complaining about your smoking again," Steve told her.

Rodney knelt down by the door and started trying to light it. Rori could just barely see as he tried several times to flick the Bic and the organic material went up in flames.

"Henry, you're a genius!" John said.

"Think you can walk?" Hank asked Rori with those worried eyes pinned on her.

"I can't feel my legs and I just lost feeling in my left arm. I'm gonna say that's a no," she replied. She was trying to sound calm and strong, but she was weak and scared. The hope of getting out of the cell was helping a bit, it gave her a surge of energy but not enough to combat the paralysis.

"I got her," Steve said as he gathered her up in his arms. Sharp pain shot from her neck, down her back, and the bug tightened its grip on her. She screamed out in pain and Steve started to put her down. "I'm sorry."

"Just go," Rori said. From her new vantage point she could see everyone in the room: Steve, John, Hank, Danny, Teyla, and Rodney. That's it. "And someone please tell me we found Ronan."

"No," Teyla said. She was disappointed and sad.

"Let's find him, then," Rori said.

"We need to get you to the Jumper," Hank said.

"We came here to rescue Ronan" Rori said through gritted teeth. "Find him."

"Yes ma'am," John said. He knew better than argue, or maybe it was just the guilt talking. Either way, Rori wasn't going to die for nothing. "Rodney, this is the right level?"

"It is, the data base said he was being held here," Rodney said.

The door had quit burning and there was just enough space for them to fit through. John went through first, cautiously, and Steve followed. "Okay," John said. "Steve, Teyla, Hank, get Rori back to the Jumper. Rodney, Danny, and I will find Ronan."

"I need my bag," Hank said. "It has all my surgical instruments and medications in it."

"They usually leave anything they take from victims in a storage room nearby," Teyla said. "We'll try to locate it on the way to the Jumper." John stopped and locked eyes with Rori. He felt guilty. She wasn't sure how she could tell him it wasn't his fault because it kind of seemed like it was. She wouldn't be in this particular situation if it weren't for him. "This way," Teyla urged Steve and Hank. Rori just let herself lean into Steve's chest as he and Hank followed the other woman. His heartbeat calmed her, it was steady and soothing.

"How did they stop John's heart the last time?" Hank asked.

"With a defibrillator," Teyla replied. "The only reason he survived is because Dr. Beckett was waiting in Atlantis only seconds away."

"I would rather not risk it," Hank said.

"Do, what, you, have, to, do, Hank," Rori said, stopping for a breath between each word. She was feeling more and more weak with each passing second.

"When we get to the Jumper," he assured her.

"You don't, have, that much, time," she said.

"We do, we're gonna make it," he said.

"You are not going to die, Rorianna," Steve whispered in her ear. "We can't die, remember?" She would have nodded, but she didn't have the strength. They slowed to a stop on Teyla's signal.

"This is the storage room," Teyla said. "It will be guarded."

Steve nodded and carefully leaned Rori against the wall. "I'll be right back," he said. "Stay alive while I'm gone." He ran off with Teyla and disappeared into a room. Hank crouched next to her and checked her vitals as muffled sounds of hand to hand combat drifted out of the room followed by gunfire.

"I guess they found the guns," Hank said. Steve and Teyla ran out of the room. She tossed Hank's bag to him and zipped up a tack vest on her chest. She'd clipped four of the five P90s to it, which would have been comical if Rori didn't feel like she was seconds away from dying.

"We need to move quickly," Teyla said as Steve gathered Rori up again. It didn't hurt this time, which was probably a bad thing, but she welcomed the relief.

"She's not doing well," Hank said.

Rori watched the wall as they quickly made their way to the hanger where they'd left the Jumper. Teyla downed every Wraith she saw as they went. The darkness was starting to creep in again. Her pain was almost completely gone now. In what was left of her conscious mind she knew for sure that was a bad thing. She heard John's voice calling out for them. She was drawn to it, comforted when Danny grabbed her hand as Steve laid her on the rubber matted floor of the Jumper. In her mind, though, she was on the beach in Hawaii waiting for John and Steve to finish their swim.

"I'm sorry, Rori, this is going to hurt," Hank said. If only she could tell him that nothing hurt anymore. Put his mind at ease that she wasn't in pain. "Everybody clear, ready?"

"Go," John's voice was confident and commanding, but Rori could also hear the terrified tone. Why were they so scared? The pain was gone. She wanted to tell them she was fine. That she was home. The waves were rolling in over the sand and the breeze was blowing on her face.

Then there was a sudden jolt of white hot pain and the darkness enveloped her. This was death.


	12. Chapter 12

_Wake me up inside_

 _Wake me up inside_

 _Call my name and save me from the dark_

 _Bid my blood to run_

 _Before I come undone_

 _Save me from the nothing I've become_

 _Now that I know what I'm without_

 _You can't just leave me_

 _Breathe into me and make me real_

 _Bring me to life_

Rori's mouth was dry and her eyes were so heavy she could barely open them. She was in some kind of hospital. The walls were blue and ornately embellished with stained glass style windows and lighting fixtures. Steve, Danny and Hank were sleeping in a couple beds up against the wall on the other side of the room. Hank was sprawled on one bed with a leg hanging off the side. Steve and Danny were sitting on the other, hands intertwined, Danny's head on Steve's shoulder and Steve's head resting against Danny's. There was no sign of John in the room.

A familiar pinch in her arm told her she had an IV line. So, not dead then. She reached up to her neck and felt a bandage where the bug had been. No bug and she could actually move her arm.

"Welcome back, Las," a doctor said as he walked in. His voice was thick with a Scottish accent and a kind, soothing tone.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in Atlantis," the man said. "I'm Dr. Carson Beckett, I've been treating you since you arrived."

"Ronan?" she asked.

"Safe and sound, thanks to you and your family," Beckett said.

Rori glanced around the room, still no sign of John. She tried to fight back a fearful tear, but it slid down her cheek anyway. "Where's John?" she asked.

"Oh, love, he's just fine. He's with the Board at the moment. Colonel Lorne insisted on speaking with him," Beckett said. "He didn't want to leave your side. None of them have."

"It's what we do," she replied.

"You have a very supportive family," he said. He rested his hand on her arm and his expression changed to the same one Hank got when he had bad news for a patient.

"What?" she asked.

"There's something I need to talk to you about, would you like me to wake one of them?" he asked.

"Let them sleep, what is it?" she asked.

"You're pregnant, Rorianna," he said.

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Dr. Beckett said. He didn't look like it was good news. His face was still set in that bad-news look.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" she asked.

"You're good at this," he said.

"I'm a cop and I spend quite a bit of time with a doctor," she said. "So, I ask again, what's wrong?"

He pulled a stool over and sat next to her. "There's no way to know how the exposure to the Eratis Bug will affect the baby," he said. "The Eratis, or Wraith, DNA is particularly tenacious."

Rori bit her lip and watched the guys across the room for a second to let the news sink in. She was afraid to allow herself to hope for normalcy, for happy. "I can't tell them until I know there's nothing wrong with the baby."

"That's your right, but let's not jump to conclusions," Dr. Beckett said. "I'd like to do an ultra sound. We can do it discreetly, if you'd like." She nodded. "Let's take you into another room so we don't wake them." He wheeled her bed into the other room as quietly as possible. "I'll go get the ultrasound and we'll get started."

He left her alone in the room. It was so quiet. She was never alone, never. The silence was deafening and, luckily, didn't last long as Dr. Beckett came back with some equipment.

"Do you know how far along you might be?" he asked as he started preparing the ultrasound equipment.

"I don't track that stuff because have a IUD, I didn't really think this was possible," she said. "So I couldn't even make an educated guess."

She jumped a little at the shock from the cold gel that Dr. Beckett was putting on her stomach. He gave her an apologetic look as he put the ultrasound wand against her stomach. He was quiet for several minutes as he examined what he was seeing on the screen.

"Dr. Beckett, what do you see?" she asked.

"Everything looks normal, except…" he said. He trailed off as he concentrated on something on the screen.

"Except what?" she asked.

"There's no heartbeat, dear," he said.

"So the baby is dead?" she asked. She didn't want to hear the answer, but at the same time she needed to hear it. She braced herself for his answer. Of course the baby was dead, she didn't get to have good things happen to her without disastrous consequences.

"Not necessarily," Dr. Beckett said. "It looks like you're only about five weeks in, which is a little early to see a heartbeat."

"I don't mean to sound negative, but I can't…" she said. "I can't be hopeful, there are too many things counting against this baby."

"From what I understand you've just gotten married, untraditional, but married all the same. This baby has a very strong mother and four honorable men to raise it. What are you worried about?" Dr. Beckett asked.

"I'm not afraid of being a mom, or them being dads, they're fantastic with Danny's kid's. I'm afraid of failing again," she said. She could still see her little girls' smiles and sometimes imagined she could hear their playful laughs down the hall. "I lost my daughters and husband a few years back. I couldn't protect them."

"This will be different," he said.

"I have other medical concerns, too," she said. "I'm a smoker. Steve and Danny were exposed to radiation on more than one occasion. John was exposed to God knows what out here. About the only safe option is if Hank is the dad and, by some miracle, my smoking hasn't hurt it. It's so much for a little one to overcome."

"Those things don't automatically mean that your child will be predisposed to anything," he said. "You'll need to quit smoking immediately and we'll keep an eye on the baby for a few days, maybe a week, and see how it goes." Rori nodded. She took a steadying breath and fought back the tears, again. Damn pregnancy hormones. She was a strong, powerful, brave woman. She wasn't supposed to cry. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you and the baby perfectly fine."

"You can't help what's already done," she said.

Beckett, apparently, wasn't sure what to say because he gave her a sad smile and took the ultrasound equipment out. She heard John and Dr. Beckett talking outside the room and wiped the tears away from her face. John came in a moment later and stopped a few feet away from the bed.

"Hey you," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm alive," she said. "I was sure I'd completely lost this time."

"What are you talking about? We got your back, babe," he said as he sat on the stool Dr. Beckett had just vacated. "I'm sorry," he said softly after a short pause.

"For?" she asked.

"Everything," he said. "You know I have trouble expressing my feelings and stuff."

"I think you express just fine," she said. She reached for his hand and gave it a light squeeze. "More than you know."

"So, we're okay?" he asked.

"John, you chose me. You've always chosen me. No matter what the other option might have been, no who else was involved or any consequences you might have endured. I could never be mad at you," she said. She thought about telling him about the baby, but she couldn't. If the baby wasn't going to make it, she didn't want him to blame himself, and he would. So, she didn't say anything. "The guys still asleep in the other room?"

"Yup," he replied.

"Have you rested yet?" she asked.

"No, I had to meet with Colonel Lorne about getting us home. It's gonna be a little bit, I guess Dr. Beckett wants to keep you for observation," he said.

"That's what he said. We're due back in Albuquerque tomorrow," she pointed out. Normally, she would just call Governor Gutierrez and explain that they'd gotten caught up with a personal matter, but she didn't exactly have cell service in Atlantis.

"Sam is taking care of it. She's letting the Governor know that the Air Force borrowed us for a mission in the Amazon Forest where you were attacked by a vampire," John said.

"Seriously?" she asked. He busted out in a grin. "You're joking, I wondered how long it would take you." She had called his scar the vampire bite for as long as she'd known him, it was only fair.

"Got you though," he said. More serious he added, "No, she's passing on that the Air Force borrowed us for a mission that had unforeseen complications and you were injured. That you're okay, but you need some recovery time before transport back to the states." That was definitely more believable. He climbed up into the bed with her and pulled her close. He kissed the top over head and breathed in deep. "I thought I lost you."

"I thought so, too," she replied. "You should go get some rest."

"I'm gonna get some rest right here, holding you," he said and squeezed her tight. "I love you, Rorianna."

"I love you too," she said. She snuggled against his chest and let herself drift off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home_ _  
_ _Tell the world I'm coming home_ _  
_ _Let the rain wash away_ _  
_ _All the pain of yesterday_ __

 _I know my kingdom awaits_ _  
_ _And they've forgiven my mistakes_ _  
_ _I'm coming home, I'm coming home_ _  
_ _Tell the world that I'm coming_

Rori stared at the ultrasound screen. It had been a week since they had arrived in Atlantis and Dr. Beckett had kept his word that he would not divulge any information about the pregnancy. Though, she was starting to wish she had told the guys. Maybe she would soon. She still wanted to protect them from the loss that had broken her heart into pieces, but at the same time she didn't want to go through that alone again. She had to know, first, that the baby was okay.

She could see the baby on the screen; tiny as it may be. And a heartbeat. She could see the heartbeat. It looked like a little butterfly flapping it's wings.

"There it is," Dr. Beckett said. "Beautiful heartbeat."

"But we still don't know how the Eratis DNA is going to effect the baby?" she asked.

"Your last sample still shows traces of the Eratis DNA still in your bloodstream, but there's no way of knowing if it's transferred to the baby or what, if any, effect it will have. Not until I can test the baby," he said. "We're going to have to wait and see." She nodded. "Are you sure you don't want to tell your husbands?"

"They may never forgive me for not telling them right away. But I want to protect them. So, no, I'm not telling them until we know more," she said. She sighed. "I can't stay here just to monitor the baby, I have duties to get back to."

"I know you're eager to get back to crime fighting," he said. "I'm going to go ahead and release you to go back to Earth. I'd like you to take it easy for another week before returning to full duty." She nodded her understanding. "And if anything seems out of the ordinary I want you to contact Dr. Jennifer Keller at Stargate Command. She runs the infirmary there and she's going to assist me with your case."

"Should I go to my regular OB as well?" she asked.

"For now, Jennifer and I will handle all of your care," he said. "I'm going to come out to Albuquerque in two weeks to check in on you. I would like to do a DNA profile on the baby at that point. It will help us get a better idea of what's going on."

"Alright," she agreed.

"I'll tell the Board that you're cleared to depart," he said.

"Thank you, Dr. Beckett, for everything," she said.

"It's my pleasure, go tell those boys they get to go home," he said.

She nodded. The guys had gotten stir crazy halfway through the week and started doing random things. She'd never seen Hank and John go running so much. Apparently there were some pretty private catwalks in the belly of the city that John used to run when he was living in Atlantis. Rori had a feeling she knew what else they were doing down there. She really wanted to find out if she was right but she had been instructed that heavy exercise was not advised. She and Danny had discovered the balcony overlooking the east pier, which provided an irresistible view of the sunset and it was conveniently close, and doctor approved, to the quarters they'd been provided. Steve had taken a reluctant Danny to train with Ronan and Teyla. Rori was just happy she was exempt from said training after her injury because it looked brutal.

Now, she followed Dr. Beckett out into the main infirmary area where the guys waited. They hadn't been too happy when she'd asked them not to accompany her to her checkup with Dr. Beckett, but they had agreed because she was the boss in more than one way. They were waiting impatiently, which really didn't surprise her. Danny had a glove and was blowing it up just to let it go and see how far it would fly. Steve and John were discussing one of the new hand to hand techniques that Ronan had taught Steve. While Hank sat on one of the infirmary beds watching the exam room door like a hawk and was the first to notice Rori and Beckett exiting.

"How are we?" Hank asked, and jumped off the bed to meet them.

"Going home, finally," she said. "Doc wants me to take it easy for another week, but he said he's confident I don't have any lasting side effects." She hoped that statement was true.

"Oh, thank God!" Danny said. "When can we go?"

"That's gonna be up to the Colonel," John said with an eye roll. Rori really needed to get that story. "I'll go check."

"I'll come with you," Rori said. This would probably be her only chance to get him to open up about the incident that had led to his leaving Atlantis in the first place.

"They won't let you in the control room," John said.

"So I'll walk with you to the control room and wait for you outside," she said. He didn't argue, just led the way down the hallway toward the transporter that would take them to the gate room. "Are you ever going to tell me what happened with Colonel Lorne?"

"Do I have to?" he asked.

"I supposed you don't, but you have nightmares about the man, so I feel like he's a pretty big bit of your past," she said. "And secrets aren't good for a marriage."

"Says the woman that wouldn't let any of her husbands go into the exam room for a follow-up with her doctor," he pointed out.

He was right, of course, and his pointing it out reminded her that she wouldn't be able to hide her condition very long. Not that she really thought she could from the start.

"There wasn't space in that exam room for all of you, which one of you do you think I could have had in that room without the others getting upset?" she asked. "Hank would be the logical choice, but this is your territory, so maybe you would be more fitting. However, Steve and Danny are pretty experienced at the whole patient support thing. So, the best choice was to make all of you wait."

"Don't you use logic with me, darling," he said as the reached the transporter. They stepped on and the doors closed behind them. "I don't know about you, but I'm hoping the great and mighty Colonel tells us we can't head home just yet."

"Why's that?" she asked.

He flipped around and pinned her against the wall. "Because I want to show you the catwalk," he whispered in her ear and reached over to tap the screen on the back wall of the transporter. The doors opened to the gate room.

"I bet you would!" she said as she followed him up the stairs to the control room. Nobody tried to stop her as they strode right into the control room and through to an office on the other side. "I guess they will let me in," she whispered.

"Colonel, you have a moment?" John asked the man behind the desk. A week they'd been in Atlantis and she hadn't met the man. He looked up and smiled at John. She was caught off guard by his friendliness, a smile that came from his eyes, and cute little dimples in his cheeks.

"Sheppard, this must be the famous Rorianna Rivera," he said as he stood up and offered his hand to her. "Colonel Evan Lorne, Commander of the military contingent here in Atlantis."

He could be as friendly as he wanted to, but John didn't trust him so she didn't either.

"I know who you are," she said. She didn't shake his outstretched hand.

"I hear Dr. Beckett has cleared you to go home. I'm guessing you'd like to do that as soon as possible," Lorne said.

"You'd be guessing right, sir," John said. He had clearly forced out the last word, but she also detected a hint of respect and… guilt. John carried so much guilt around with him. She wished she knew how to help him with that. But, now she was just confused. Was she supposed to hate Lorne or respect him? For her there was no middle ground.

"Well, get your things together, we're dialing out to Earth in about an hour," Lorne replied. "Doc had perfect timing." Lorne leaned with his backside resting on his desk and crossed his arms over his chest, it reminded her of John. "Shep, I want to say I'm sorry. Taking this position after you turned it down wasn't the easiest thing I ever did. I felt like it would effectively end any chance I had of repairing our relationship."

"Relationship?" Rori asked.

"Sheppard was the best CO I ever had, but he was also one of the only people I ever trusted with my life," Lorne said.

"Maybe that trust was misplaced," John said.

"I never meant for things to go down like they did," Lorne added, ignoring John's obvious acceptance of what had happened, whatever it was. It was very clear that the Colonel blamed himself as much as John did.

"It was my decision, you and I both know I deserved a court martial," John said.

"That's not true and you know it," Lorne said.

"We're going to get our stuff together," John said. He stalked out of the room and left her alone with Lorne. She was probably supposed to follow him and she started to, but Lorne started talking.

"I wish I could fix what happened that day or in the court martial. But I can't," Lorne said. "He knows that, right?"

"I think his life was turned upside down and I don't know how you fit in but he seems to blame you for it," Rori said.

"I defied a direct order and almost died because of it. I thought we had a chance to save a village from a Wraith attack, and we did, but it was a Hail Mary and he didn't think it would work, he was right," Lorne said. "And the only reason I'm alive today is because of him. But, the IOA thought he made a decision based on his ego of rather or not he thought he could succeed."

"John's ego isn't that big," she said. "He made a decision, from what I'm hearing, based on what he thought was possible. I've seen him do it time and time again in the field. Before they judged him or pointed fingers at him, did they think about all the lives his supposed ego has saved. I don't know the whole situation but John Sheppard is one of the most selfless people I know."

"I know that, I'm one of those people he's save, many times," he said almost fondly. "Especially that day."

"So, what's his deal with you then?" Rori asked.

"He blamed himself because I nearly died and someone that was very special to me did die in that village," Lorne said. "It wasn't his fault."

Rori had completely misread the situation. John didn't hate Lorne, he respected him and wished that he had done better by him.

"Rorianna!" John called from the gate room below.

"John's guilt over things he can't control sometimes eats him up," Rori said. "For what it's worth, he didn't come back to Atlantis because of me. He realized he wanted to stay with me because he loved me and he would trade anything for me. He's doing really well, he's happy with us on Earth."

"I know, I hate that I had to send Teyla and Rodney to get him like that," Lorne replied.

"You sent them?" Rori asked.

"Without the approval of the rest of the Board, yes," Lorne said. "I knew that John would never come if I asked him. My testimony in the court martial, though I thought it would help him, sunk his career."

"Well, you made the right decision sending Teyla and Rodney," she said. She took a good look at the man. He was shouldering more than he should. He was just like a younger version of John. "I should go, he's waiting."

"Take care of him," Lorne said.

"You know it," Rori called over her shoulder as she left the office and jogged to catch up to John.

"What did he say?" John asked when she reached him.

"Nothing you don't already know," she said. "You don't have to carry the weight of the galaxy, or two galaxies, on your shoulders. You are not guilty for not protecting everyone."

"Only when it's my job and I fail," he replied. "Come on, let's go get our stuff." He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her back toward the transport. "Maybe we have enough time for a jog down to the catwalk?" he whispered.

"You are so bad," she said. "Let's do it."


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm back where I belong  
Yeah I never felt so strong  
I'm feelin' like there's nothing that I can't try  
(I'm back, baby)  
And if you with me put your hands high  
(Put your hands high)_

 _If you ever lost a life before, this one's for you  
(And if you with me put your hands high)  
And you, and you and you and you  
(Your dreams are filled, you're rapping with the best)_

Rori revved the engine in the pickup lane at the hospital while she waited for Hank to come out. It felt so good to be behind the wheel again. They'd been back in Albuquerque for two days and the guys had made her stay home and rest, which she wasn't exactly opposed to. But, she was definitely ready for date night. Though, she wasn't a hundred percent sure she was ready to tell them about the baby, she had finally agreed with Dr. Beckett that it was a good idea and had planned to tell them over dinner. Hank climbed in the passenger seat just as the dispatch radio crackled to life.

"Home invasion progress, homeowner inside," the dispatcher said over the radio. The address that followed was right around the corner.

"We're going, aren't we?" Hank asked. Rori winked at him and picked up the radio mic. She couldn't help it. Maybe she was an adrenaline junkie. Maybe it was the nicotine withdraw.

"Show Five-O in route," Rori said into the mic. "Send an officer as well, please."

"10-4," The dispatcher replied.

Rori flicked on her lights and tried her best to ignore Hank's glare as she pulled away from the hospital. She knew what he was thinking. She was supposed to be taking it easy, not responding to a home invasion. She dialed Steve's number.

"Hey, you two on your way?" his voice came loud and clear over the speakers in the car.

"To a home invasion," she replied. She expertly drifted the car around the corner of an intersection onto the road leading up to the address the dispatcher had provided.

"Need backup?" he asked. He knew better than to argue when she was making a command decision, but Rori could hear the concern in his voice. They all knew she wasn't a hundred percent yet but Steve and John both knew that they would do the same.

"Yes," Hank interjected as he gripped the door. "Because she shouldn't be doing this anyway, she's supposed to be taking it easy."

"Hank is texting you the address," she said and gave Hank the stink eye.

"See you two there," Steve said and ended the call.

"We're never going to have a normal date, are we?" Hank asked. He typed the address into his phone and sent it off to Steve.

"Probably not," Rori replied. She knew they were right. She shouldn't be responding to this, especially without back up and Hank would never let her do it if he knew she was pregnant. She was hoping that the APD officer or the guys would arrive in time to help her out, but a home invasion in progress with the homeowner inside meant a civilian was in danger and she had a sworn duty, pregnant or not. "Grab my gun and badge from the glovebox."

He did as he was asked and she parked down the street from the target house where a woman was standing, phone in hand. Hank handed over the gun and badge as soon as the car was stationary. "Stay in the car," she told him.

"You don't have to tell me twice," he replied. "You should wait for the other officer or the guys."

"Henry, really?" she asked.

"It had to be said, be careful," he replied.

She nodded and popped out of the car. The woman standing on the sidewalk looked her up and down, taking in her short, red bodycon dress and high heels.

"You the one that reported the home invasion in progress?" Rori asked.

"You're a cop?" the woman asked.

"Yes," Rori confirmed as she put her badge on a chain around her neck and grabbed her tack vest from the trunk. She tossed her heels in and slipped into the extra pair of tactical boots she kept in the trunk. "I need as many details as possible."

"The guy kicked in my neighbor's door and it looked like they were fighting," the woman said. "I think he had a gun."

"Stay here," Rori said.

"You're going in alone?" the woman asked.

"Backup is on the way, but your neighbor doesn't have time to wait for backup," she replied. She headed to the house with her gun drawn. The front door was standing open, clearly kicked in, and she could see two men fighting inside. One of them was her old boss from the convenience store and the other was a rough looking Hispanic guy who was covered in tattoos. "Five-O!" she announced as she entered the house. "Stop!" Rick, her old boss, stumbled backward and the tattooed guy turned his attention to Rori. He kicked her gun from her hands and planted a fist in her jaw in one swift motion. Her head snapped back and she landed on her rear. Maybe she was off her game more than she thought. She bounced back up and went on the offence a little stronger, throwing a punch and landing it in his face. It didn't faze him. He whipped around, put her in a left arm lock and popped her shoulder right out of its socket.

"Son of a bitch!" she shouted. She ignored the pain, swung around, and grabbed a chunk of his long hair in her right hand as she brought her knee to his chest. He doubled over, the breath knocked out of him, and she slammed his head against the heavy, oak coffee table in front of him. He fell, limp, to the floor.

"You okay?" Rick asked. She could see the shock in his eyes. She hadn't seen him in a couple years and she had changed a lot since then. She was the quiet one back then.

"Fine," she replied. She stabilized her left arm against her body. Her shoulder was definitely out of place. "Just fucking peachy. Is this your place?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"Some package I was supposed to deliver. I'm a mail carrier, I must have delivered a hundred packages today," he said.

Steve, Danny, and John came in, guns drawn, wearing their tactical gear over their own fancy date wear. This was not how she had planned this evening to go and now she was definitely not telling them about the baby tonight.

"You alright?" Steve asked, his gun trained on Rick. John stepped closer, assessing her situation with concern filling his eyes.

"We're good, he's the homeowner," she said. "Clear the house."

"Anyone else live here?" Danny asked.

"I live alone," Rick replied. The guys moved off to clear the house. "Is that the pilot guy from the store?" he asked of John.

"Yeah," Rori replied. She collected her gun and tucked it in the front her tack vest.

"All clear," John said when they came back. The tattoo guy started to stir.

"Book em, Danno," she said. Danny glared at her for half a second before moving in to cuff the man. That was something Steve had started shortly after the two had met and she had used it every now and then to be playful. "John, get Hank from the car. Steve, cover Danno, that guy needs a little extra force." All three left the room with the tattoo guy, who was groggily stumbling after Danny, and Rori sank down to sit on the coffee table. She felt a little woozy and weak in the knees.

"So, you're a cop now?" Rick asked as he sat next to her.

"Five-O," she said. "I'm now Director Rorianna Rivera."

"Director?" he asked, unbelievingly.

"Yup," she replied.

"You always wear a mini-dress to work?" he asked as he regarded her outfit.

"Only on date night," she replied.

"Rori, what the hell?" Hank asked as he walked in, medical bag in hand, and looked her up and down. He looked around the room at the broken items and shook his head.

"How was I supposed to know he was a ninja?" she asked.

"You could have waited for backup," Hank suggested in his doctor tone.

"If I had of, Rick would be dead," she said. "Rick, this is Doctor Hank Lawson, he's gonna make sure you don't have a concussion." Rick had a pretty good bump on his head that was probably gonna need some stitches.

"That's not—" he started to argue.

"Shut it, your head is a mess," she said.

"And your shoulder is popped out," Rick argued.

"Don't worry, she's next," Hank said. The look in his eye said he wanted to check her first, but he knew his place in situations like this. She would always have him check a civilian over herself. John and Steve came back just then.

"I want to know who this guy was and what he wanted. Rick, do you keep records of all the packages on your truck?" Rori asked.

"The office does," he replied.

"Okay, we'll get them in the morning," she said. "In the meantime, I want an officer on the house."

"I'll call dispatch," Steve offered.

"And I will cancel our reservations," John said. "Love the outfit, by the way," he added with a wink. Rori rolled her eyes and turned to Rick and Hank.

"He's fine, the cut needs stitches, I'll have to get my other kit from the car in a minute," Hank reported. "Let me set your arm."

"Yes sir," she replied playfully. Rick moved back out of the way as Hank stood next to Rori.

"It's going to hurt but I have some ibuprofen in the car," he said.

"Henry, it's hardly the first thing I've been through that hurts and it won't be the last," she said. "Just do it and get it over with." He grabbed her arm by the elbow and stabilized her just above the shoulder. "Wait," she said. "Tell me something to distract me."

"Me, John, on call room," he said with an evil grin and snapped her shoulder back in place.

"Fuck!" she growled in pain but also because of that image he'd just given her. Oh how she would love to join the two of them in an on call room at the hospital. Many good memories had happened there.

"It's done," Hank said. "I'm gonna go get you a sling and the suture kit from the car. Don't move that arm." She nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Rick asked when they were alone again. He reclaimed his seat next to her.

"Yeah," she said. The pain was starting to ease off now.

"You've changed a lot," he commented. They had once been pretty good friends. She would never have told him her deep, dark secrets, but he had been a good friend. Especially when she'd lost her family. He'd been supportive, but then it had become obvious to her that he was falling for her, so she had let herself lose contact with him when she left to start Five-O.

"Just a little," she said.

"That's a nice ring," he said. She glanced down and realized she was wearing her engagement ring. Normally she would have taken it off for something like this.

"Thanks," she said. "You jealous?"

"That you and the pilot finally got together? No," Rick said. "But, does he know about the doctor?"

"Oh Rick," she said. "Such an innocent mind."

He laughed because, when they'd started working together some seven years before, she had been the innocent one. Raised under the proverbial rock. Barely married to her husband. No kids yet. Monogamous.

"What does that even mean?" he asked. "Wait, you're not with the pilot? The look he gave you I was sure."

"No, we're married," she said. "John, Hank, Steve, Danny, and I."

"You're right, I'm way too innocent," Rick replied. "What made you do that?"

"Have you seen them?" she asked.

"Have you seen you?" he asked. He brushed a hair away from her face.

"Actually, I have a mirror at home," she joked. "I wouldn't normally wouldn't divulge that information, but I wanted to, you know."

"Let me know you're off the market?" he asked. "I got that." He looked a little hurt and maybe she shouldn't have said anything, but she didn't need yet another thing to deal with right now. "You're pretty badass now," he commented after a moment of silence. "That guy was kicking my ass."

"I didn't exactly come out of it unscathed," she said. Hank came back in and Rick scooted away from her, realizing he was just a little closer than normal ex-coworkers would sit. Hank eyed him curiously and started to help Rori with the sling.

"The guys said they were going to talk to a girl about the ninja guy," he said.

"Um, okay," she said.

"You weren't ready to come back," he said quietly as he fastened the sling.

"Hank, I'm fine," she said.

He offered her the ibuprofen and she shook her head. "The swelling is going to get worse and it's going to hurt more, you need to take something so that doesn't happen."

"I'm fine without it," she said. "Just get me an ice pack or something." He eyed her curiously, but didn't argue the situation as he turned to Rick to start stitching up his head. Rori watched as he carefully stitched the gash together. Her phone rang, she pulled it from her tack vest and she slid the accept bar. "Rivera," she said into the phone.

"Hey," Steve said. "He's a freaking romantic!"

"What?" she asked. She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean.

"Mikeal Tran, the ninja. Our mailman delivered a package he mailed to his girlfriend to break up with her. I guess he changed his mind and tried to intercept the package. Why he thought it was our mailman's house I don't know."

"That was fast," she commented.

"Yeah, well, he cried like a baby in the backseat of the radio car," Danny said. "Told me all about his girlfriend."

"We just talked to the girlfriend. She opened the package earlier today and was pretty shook that he would go to such lengths to get it back," Steve added.

"Tran said he was sorry," John said. It sounded like he was in the back seat.

"You can tell our mailman he'll be okay," Danny said.

"Can we not call him our mailman?" she asked as she glanced at Rick. Hank was busy finishing the stitches in his head and either didn't hear her comment or ignored it. "We're sure that's all there was to it?"

"We're sure," John said. "Officer Henderson is booking him on attempt to tamper with mail and aggravated assault on a police officer. He had a warrant for felony drug possession too, won't be getting out for awhile."

"Thanks guys," she said with a sigh.

"Pizza?" Steve asked.

"Sounds great," she replied. "We'll meet you back at the house in a bit, gonna finish up here." She hung up and tucked her phone away in her pocket.


	15. Chapter 15

_I'mma work it harder, make it bett-  
Do it faster, makes us  
More than ever hou-hour after  
Ou-our work is never over_

 _Work it harder, make it better  
Do it faster, makes us stronger  
More than ever hour after  
Our work is never over_

Rori woke to the feeling of a finger tracing her skin from her wrist to her shoulder and back. She knew it was Hank without even opening her eyes. "Good morning, sleepyhead," Hank said softly into her ear.

"Morning," she said. The weight of what she'd learned the evening before was too heavy for it to be a good morning. Dr. Jennifer Keller had come to check the baby in place of Dr. Beckett, who had apparently been called away to an emergency in Pegasus. Rori liked Jennifer, though. The woman was straight forward and didn't sugar coat anything. She had drawn blood and taken samples for DNA testing to ensure the baby was clear of Eratis DNA. But, she'd also done an ultrasound with some pretty impressive imaging technology that had revealed the baby had a tumor growing close to it's heart. It hadn't been there in the scan two weeks before in Atlantis.

"Danny is making breakfast," Hank reported.

Rori could smell the bacon and coffee. Oh dear Lord, coffee! For the baby's sake, she should give up coffee, but she had already given up whiskey and cigarettes. She needed coffee to stay sane, especially if she, they, were going to lose the baby anyway.

"I smell that," she replied as she rolled over to face him. "It smells like heaven."

"This is heaven," he said. He brushed her messy hair away from her face and regarded her fondly.

"Breakfast is ready!" Danny called from downstairs.

"Come on," Hank rolled out of bed and pulled her with him. They hurried downstairs into the kitchen where John and Steve were seated at the table, each of them reading a piece of the morning paper. Danny was busy over by the stove.

"Sit," he ordered and she was inclined to obey, especially as a wave of nausea washed over her. She did her best to hide it and she didn't think any of them noticed. Danny sat a plate in front of her with bacon, eggs, and toast along with a cup of perfectly brewed coffee.

The guys each dug right into their breakfasts. Steve and John were both still entranced by whatever articles they were reading. Hank leaned over John's shoulder to read the article and Danny was so focused on his breakfast she was sure a love child would be the result.

"How did your check-up with Keller go?" John asked without looking up from his article.

"It went well, she was pretty thorough. We're waiting for the final blood tests, but it looks like I'm okay," Rori said. Okay herself. The baby was a different story. "I'm going to meet up with her later today or tomorrow to just go over the results."

"A second appointment, you sure everything is okay?" John asked, his attention drawn from the paper.

They were all staring at her now. It made her feel like she was on the spot. Maybe this was the moment she'd been waiting for to tell them about the baby. She had tried to force it with date night the week before and they're lives got in the way. Maybe a nice family breakfast was the best time to –

As if on queue, her phone rang. Of course it did and of course it was the governor. She slid the call accept bar and raised the phone to her ear. "Rivera," she said in her standard greeting. She tried not to let her annoyance at the timing for the call come through in her voice tone.

"Rorianna, I have a favor to ask," the Governor said. "A friend of mine has a son who is bipolar. He escaped from his treatment facility this morning and is currently holding a bank hostage. I'd like you to get him out of there."

"We're on it," Rori said.

"Thank you, and one more thing," the Governor said. "He doesn't trust men."

"Thanks for the heads up," Rori said.

"Good luck," the line went dead and Rori sighed.

"Hostage situation," Rori said in response to the guys' quizzical stares. "I'm going to get dressed. Danny, you're with me. Steve, John, I need you to handle that DA meeting this morning." She grabbed the toast off her plate and ran up the stairs to get dressed. She pulled on a pair of her tighter skinny jeans and couldn't fasten the button. "Damnit," she said as she switched them for a pair of John's cargo pants.

Rori and Danny were in her Mustang in less than five minutes. She thought about the baby. Jennifer had said the tumor was pretty extensive and she wouldn't expect the baby to live for more than a couple hours after birth, if the little one made it that far. She was going to meet with a friend of hers that was a fetal surgeon for an expert opinion, but the outlook wasn't very optimistic. The only thing the baby had going for it is that it had Rori's blood combined with that of one of four very strong men.

"You're quiet this morning," Danny observed.

"Sorry," she replied.

"No, it's okay, it's a nice break from the norm, Steve is never quiet." Danny said. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Nah, just still waking up I guess," she said as they pulled up to the bank. Chavez met them as they stopped next to his car. Rori had never expected the kid to stick with it. Especially after Danny's shooting. But, he had and he had a lot of potential, with the right mentor.

"Director Rivera, thank God you're here!" he said. "SWAT is already weapons hot with this kid."

"Kid? How old is he?" Rori asked. She stepped out of the car and tried to get a look at the bank, but she couldn't really see inside from the angle she had.

"Sixteen," Chavez said.

"Damnit, do we have his parents?" Rori asked. She pulled her tack vest from the trunk and slipped it on.

"Not yet, I'm working on it. She's a single mom with no car and no phone," Chavez reported. "Trying to get a free officer to go pick her up from the hotel where she works."

"Danny, take care of that, please," Rori said. "I want her onsite in case we need her."

"Right away," Danny replied and caught the keys she tossed him. He slid behind the steering wheel of the Mustang and drove off.

"Does he listen that well at home?" Chavez asked.

"Chavez," Rori said in a warning tone. "What happens in my home is none of your business, kid."

"Yes ma'am," Chavez replied.

"What's our mode of communication with our HT?" she asked.

"Throw phone, but he said he'll only talk to a woman," Chavez said.

Rori understood it. Kid raised by a single mother and doesn't trust men only wants to talk to a woman. Rori figured it indicated that he felt men had failed him, or treated him unfairly. Rori took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road, then," Rori said. Chavez led her over where Cameron, the SWAT Commander, was waiting.

"Director, it's good to see you," he said. She just nodded. "I've got snipers with clear shots."

"Snipers, for a child?" she asked.

"He's sixteen with an automatic rifle and ten hostages, that hardly qualifies him as an innocent child," Cameron replied. "And to top it off, he's bipolar."

"That hardly qualifies him as a lethal threat," she replied.

"Ma'am, I've talked to this kid. He has no respect for authority and he's unstable," Cameron replied.

"Just give me the damn phone," Rori said. "And no one shoots unless I say so."

"Yes, ma'am," Cameron replied. He handed her a phone and she turned her full attention on the bank.

Cameron had set up his base at the perfect angle to see inside the bank. She could she kid. He had a handgun held on a bank official, probably the manager. Automatic rifle her ass. Damn trigger happy SWAT guys… Sure it was hard to make out many details through the windows, but even she could tell this was a scared kid doing something crazy. The phone only had one number it could call. It was directly connected to the throw phone that had been tossed inside the bank before her arrival. She waited while the phone rang and the kid bent down to pick it up, all the while he kept his gun pointed at the bank manager.

"This better be a woman," the kid screamed.

"The last time I checked," Rori replied calmly. "My name is Rorianna Rivera, you can call me Rori. What's you're name?"

"Marty," the kid said. He sounded relieved.

"Marty, I want to help you through this, that's why I'm here," she said. "So, let's talk."

"All I want is for them to let my mom keep her house! They're taking it away and we have to move!" Marty shouted. "We can't move." He waved the gun closer to the bank manager.

"Whoa, whoa," Rori said. "Slow down Marty. You're upset, I understand that, but you need to take a deep breath and calm down."

Danny walked up with a woman. She was wearing a maids uniform for one of the local hotels and had the air of an extremely tired, hard worked mother. Danny motioned to the mother to stay quiet.

"It's going to take some time for me to get all that figured out. I'm going to do everything in my power to help you, okay. In the meantime, are you guys doing okay in there?" she asked.

"Just makes sure my mom can keep the house!" Marty said.

"Okay, I'm going to hang up now so that I can work on that. You hang in there and keep calm, okay," she said. She ended the call and turned to Danny and the mother.

"This is Denea Guerra, Marty's mother. Denea, this is Director Rorianna Rivera of the Five-O task force," Danny introduced.

"The Governor really did call you, then," Denea said.

"She did. What can you tell me about your son?" Rori asked.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in two years," Denea said. "He's not well and I couldn't anymore, I have other children I have to care for."

"He wants to keep the bank from foreclosing your home, I'm guessing that's not an option," Rori said. Denea shook her head. "Damnit!" Rori slammed her hand down on the hood of the radio car.

"The doctor's at the facility said he hasn't been taking his meds and he's been writing very violent journals," Danny said. "Called them on the way."

"Thanks," Rori said.

"Rivera, the longer this goes on, the worse it's going to get," Cameron said. "You can't give him what he wants and it's too risky to tell him that. My team is ready and standing by."

"And you're going to stay that way," Rori snapped. She caught Steve's truck out of the corner of her eye as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Called Steve too, thought the support would be helpful," Danny said. John and Hank were getting out of the truck with Steve. "Steve thought having Hank on hand might be helpful given the bipolar issue."

She nodded in agreement and picked up the phone again. Marty answered pretty quickly but didn't say anything. "Marty, I'm here with your mom."

"She's here?!" Marty asked.

"She's here and she wants you to put the gun down and come on out of there," Rori said. She didn't think it would work, but she had to try. "She told me it's too late, she said they took the house years ago. That you've been staying with some people who have been helping you."

"She's wrong! That's not my mom! She's one of them! The aliens must have her!" he threw the phone away and steadied his gun on the bank manager.


	16. Chapter 16

_I've been a liar, been a thief  
Been a lover, been a cheat  
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me  
A little one, I don't want to admit to something  
If all it's gonna cause is pain  
Truth in my lies right now are falling like the rain  
So let the river run_

"Aliens?!" Rori spun on the mom as John, Hank, and Steve joined them by the radio car.

"He believes that all men are aliens," Denea said.

"Would have been nice if you had shared that earlier," Rori snapped. She should have lied to him. They say never to lie, but she should have lied.

"You've lost communication, let me end this," Cameron said.

"Why are you so trigger happy?" Danny asked.

"You want to shoot my son?!" Denea questioned.

"He's not giving us much choice," Cameron replied.

"Please, stop him, whatever it takes, he's going to hurt someone," Denea said. She stared at the bank with sad, defeated eyes.

"Seriously?" Rori asked. Her hand went to her stomach instinctively. "I'm not giving up on him." She checked her gun to be sure the safety was off and it was ready to fire if necessary.

"What are you doing?" Danny asked.

"I'm going in there," Rori said. "Make sure Cameron doesn't take that shot." She gave Danny a stern stare.

"We'll go with you," Steve said as he and John both checked their guns.

"No, it might set him off," Rori said.

"As much as I hate this, Rori is right," Danny said. "Can't have him thinking you two are aliens."

"Rorianna, this is stupid. You're going to get yourself killed," Hank argued. "He's in the middle of a bipolar fugue. You can't predict what he's going to do. He could shoot you."

"That's why you're here," she quipped back.

"He's right," John said. "You can't save them all."

"Guys, that's a kid in there, a sick kid, I'm not giving up on him," Rori said. She headed for the bank before the guys could put up any more of an argument. She couldn't understand how a mother could give up on her own child. She knew damn well she couldn't give up on her baby. She knew that she was putting the baby in danger, but there was another child that needed her in that moment. She couldn't let her pregnancy affect her work. It was, though, and she knew it because she never would have even considered going into the bank, especially if there was another option. She knew how this would end rather she was ready to admit it or not. She pulled the door of the bank open and stepped inside.

"Stop!" Marty shouted and spun his gun on her.

"It's just me, Rori," she said with her hands up in a calm, defensive manner. "I just want to help you, Marty. I know you're scared."

"You don't know! Aliens are real! They're here!" he said.

"I've seen them, Marty," she said in a serious tone. It was definitely true. Not that she could actually share that. "I know they're here."

"They took her house and messed with my head," he said.

"I know," she replied. "Let me help you."

"No one can help me!" he shouted.

He waved the gun around. His hands were shaking around the grip, his finger twitching at the trigger. Her hand dropped to her own gun instinctively and she had it leveled on him in half a second. Things were not going in a good direction at all. He had shut her out. "Don't move!" he warned.

"Marty, I'm here to help, but you have to put the gun down," she said calmly. She regretted her decision to go into the bank in that moment. She knew exactly what she was going to have to do before it was all over.

"I can't, you're one of them!" Marty said.

"You can trust me," she said. "Look, I'll put my gun down too." She started to lower her gun, but the bank manager moved toward the door and Marty swung his gun around towards him. Rori pulled the trigger three times in quick succession and put three in Marty's chest. Marty hit the floor with a thud. She knelt next to him and checked his pulse. He was gone. "Damnit," she whispered. She pulled her phone out and called Danny.

"You okay? We heard shots!" Danny said.

"The suspect is down, send Cameron in to secure the hostages," she said and ended the call.

"You saved my life," the bank manager said.

"I did my job," she said. Cameron came in with his team and she didn't say anything as she brushed passed him. Danny, John, Steve, and Hank met her right outside the door.

"Rori, you okay, babe?" Danny asked again.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"Is he dead?" Denea asked as she ran up to them.

"Yes, I'm so sorry," Rori said.

"Thank you," Denea replied.

"Excuse me?" Rori asked as she spun on her. "I just put bullets in your sixteen year old son because you gave up on him. Do not thank me!"

"Rori, come on, let's go cool down," Hank said as he tugged her arm.

"I need to be by myself for a minute," Rori replied. She headed off down the road a little bit. She dropped down on the curb when she was alone and pulled a cigarette from her tack vest. She didn't light it. Just held it between her fingers as she played the entire negotiation through her head and tried to think if there was anything else she could have done.

She heard footsteps and looked up to see all four of the guys walking up.

"I said I needed to be alone for a minute," she said.

"It's been a minute," Danny replied.

Hank was next to her and reached for her cigarette but stopped when he realized it wasn't lit.

"Is this what it's really like?" she asked. She stared at her cigarette and rolled it between her fingers. "He was just a kid."

"He was a disturbed individual," Danny said. "He came here to die, he knew that, his mom knew it, and you knew it."

"But I have to live with the fact that I put bullets in a kid," she said.

"We all have one that stays with us," John said.

"I think the point Danny was trying to make is that you knew he was going to end up dead and yet you still took the risk even though there was a sniper ready to do what you ended up doing," Steve said. "So, the question is why?"

"She just gave up on him," Rori said of Denea as she continued to roll the cigarette between her fingers. "I couldn't, I can't just give up." It wasn't how she had planned to tell them, but it was time, the burden was too heavy to deal with on her own. She pulled the ultrasound picture out of her tack vest where she had tucked it away. She handed it over to Hank.

"Who is this?" he asked. Steve leaned over his shoulder to look at the picture.

"What is it?" John asked, taking his own peek.

"It's an ultrasound," Danny said. "Rori?"

"I'm pregnant," she said after a moment of silence.

"That's exactly why you don't take unnecessary risks!" Danny exclaimed.

"You're what?!" John asked. His eye twitched and he tilted his head to the side the way he did when he was angry.

"How long have you known?" Steve asked.

"Since Atlantis," Hank said. "Just a guess because that's when she stopped drinking and smoking, isn't that right?"

"Yeah," Rori replied.

"You knew you're pregnant and you put yourself in harm's way anyway?" John asked.

"John, before you getting angry at me, consider my position," she said.

"No, you don't get to make a decision regarding the safety of our child without us," John said.

"I was trying to protect you," she said.

"From what?" Steve asked.

"There's something wrong isn't there?" Hank asked as he examined the ultrasound.

Rori didn't say anything. It wouldn't take him long to see it. Steve fixed her with his confused look, which Danny had fondly dubbed his constipation face. "That's a tumor, isn't it? Not just a glitch on the ultrasound?" Hank pointed to the white spot in the ultrasound next to the baby's heart. Rori nodded.

"Like, cancer?" Danny asked.

"We don't know if it's cancer or not, but it's aggressive. The tumor wasn't there when we took the scans in Atlantis. Dr. Keller took samples, but she said she doesn't think she'll be able to remove it and even if she could, it's already compromised the baby's development," Rori said. "I didn't know how to tell you guys. At first I was excited, but I was scared because the whole bug thing and we couldn't get a heartbeat right away in Atlantis. Dr. Beckett said he didn't know how it would affect the baby."

"Rori, you don't ever keep things from us, ever," Steve said.

"You shouldn't have been in the field at all," John said. "I can't even imagine why you would want to deal with this on your own. You have family! You have us!"

Rori tried to fight back the tears but they spilled over anyway. She'd disappointed them, hurt them, she knew that was wrong. But she also needed them to know why, to understand that she did it out of love.

"John, honey, don't yell at her," Danny said.

"You can't tell me that you're not angry," John snapped.

"Look at her," Steve said. "Do you really think she did this to hurt us?"

"I didn't," she said. "The biggest pain I have ever felt in my life was losing the kids. When Dr. Beckett told me there was no heartbeat I figured it was just not meant to be, you know. Then, we found the heartbeat and I was excited. I wanted to tell you guys together in a way that was special. But then Dr. Keller found the tumor last night and she told me the baby wouldn't make it. I didn't want you guys to feel that pain."

"Rori, you can't lie to us," Steve said. He sank down onto the curb next to her.

"I didn't lie!" she said. "I was protecting you!"

"That's not your job," John said. He spun on his heels and headed back to the truck.

"Are any of you ever going to be able to forgive me?" she asked. Hank and Steve didn't say anything as they headed back to the truck. "Danny?" she asked when they were alone.

"Rachel lied to me about Charlie, now you're lying about this baby, I just, I need time to sit with this," Danny said. "Come on, let's go back to the office." He helped her up from the curb and walked with her back to the Mustang.

"I figured you'd want to ride with the guys," she said.

"Just get in the car," he said as he slid behind the wheel.


	17. Chapter 17

_You're just a small bump unborn, in four months you're brought to life  
You might be left with my hair, but you'll have your mother's eyes  
I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can  
But for now you're scan of my unmade plans,  
A small bump in four months you're brought to life  
A small bump in four months you'll open your eyes_

Rori waited in her office for Dr. Keller. Danny had barely said a word on the drive over from the bank and they had all disappeared into Steve's office as soon as they'd gotten back to HQ. She had no idea what was going on in there, but her mind kept going through all the scenarios she could think of. They were still angry and, to be fair, they had a right to be. She'd betrayed their trust and she didn't know if they would ever trust her again. She didn't know how, but she would have to prove to them that she had learned from her mistake.

The bell on the front door rang, letting her know that someone was waiting in the small lobby outside the secured door that lead into their office. Rori glanced at the camera. It was Dr. Jennifer Keller.

Rori went and opened the door for the doctor. "Jennifer, it's good to see you," she greeted.

"Likewise," Jennifer said as she stepped inside. She glanced around the main office area. It was a pretty big room with doors to each of their offices, the small kitchen, and the conference room as well as an elevator that went down to the interrogation room, fondly known as the tank. "Is it okay to talk here?" Jennifer asked after a moment of taking in the large room.

"As good a place as anywhere," Rori replied. "I told them."

"How'd they take it?" Jennifer asked as Rori lead the way to her office.

"Well, there was shouting, anger, more shouting, and they've been in Steve's office since we got here," Rori said. She pointed to the chairs at her desk, "Have a seat."

"If you've told the guys, you might consider having them join us," Jennifer suggested softly. "I know John well enough to know that involving him now would go a long way to moving past it."

"Okay," Rori said. She was a little nervous about facing the them, but she knew Jennifer was right. So, she headed to Steve's office and knocked lightly.

"It's open," Steve's muffled reply came through the door. She pushed it open. Steve was in the chair behind his desk, Danny and Hank occupied the ones in front of the desk, and John sat on the end of it. "What's up?"

"Dr. Keller is here to discuss the results of the tests," she said. "I thought you guys might like to join us."

They didn't say anything, just followed her back to her office where the doctor was waiting. John introduced the guys to Dr. Keller after giving her a quick hug. There was a heavy tension in the room that no one could have missed. Rori could tell by the look on Jennifer's face that she was uncomfortable. Rori didn't blame her. Most people found their relationship awkward to start with, add in all the tension between them and you have a recipe for awkward conversation.

"What are we looking at? Hank says a tumor like that is fatal for the baby?" Steve was the first to speak up.

"It is," Jennifer said. "And, under normal circumstances, I would suggest that we could wait and see how the baby develops aside from the tumor, if you were willing. But I don't want to get your hopes up."

"What does that mean?" Danny asked.

"The sample I took yesterday confirms my concerns," Jennifer said. "The tumor is made up of Wraith DNA."

"Wraith DNA!" John asked. "From the bug?"

"Yes," Jennifer replied.

"Damnit!" John shouted as he put his fist through the wall.

"John!" Steve warned. He grabbed John's arms and locked eyes with him. "You need to calm down."

"You don't understand, Steve," John said. "This is my fault."

"No, it's not, it's mine," Rori said. "I'm the one that let my birth control lapse. I should have been more careful. If I was we wouldn't be in this situation."

"Now is not the time to lay blame," Steve said. He fixed John with a stern stare.

"What are you recommending?" Hank asked.

"Honestly?" Jennifer asked. She turned her attention to Rori. "I don't think your body is going to allow the pregnancy to continue."

"You think she'll miscarry because of the foreign DNA?" Hank asked.

"Best case," Jennifer said. "Eratis and Wraith DNA is adaptive."

"You don't think she could?" John asked. It was clear he didn't want to say what he was thinking, but Jennifer seemed to know exactly what he was talking about.

"I think it's only going to effect the baby," Jennifer said. "On that note, I'd like to take another sample."

"You just took some yesterday," Rori said. "Why another one?"

"Dr. Beckett has a few more tests he wants to run, just a precaution," Jennifer said. "Dr. Lawson, I understand your office is outfitted as an exam room?"

"It is," Hank replied.

"Do you mind?" Jennifer asked.

"Not at all, right this way," he said. They all followed him across the hall to his office.

"I have some equipment in the car, could you go get it?" Jennifer asked, holding a set of keys out to Steve. Steve nodded, took the keys and pulled Danny with him toward the door.

It didn't take long for them to get set up for an ultrasound so that Jennifer could take the samples. The guys watched the screen in anticipation. As soon as the baby appeared, Rori caught a light in their eyes. Their anger melted away, replaced by the peace she'd felt when she'd seen the baby for the first time. Except Hank, he had a sad look in his eyes. She knew that look. He shared it with Jennifer.

"What is it?" Rori asked as she looked at the monitor.

"The tumor has doubled in size since yesterday," Jennifer said. "I'm sorry, Rori, but it doesn't look like the baby is going to make it."

Rori stared at the monitor, at the little heartbeat fluttering away. Jennifer used a very long needle to take the sample of the tumor before taking another blood sample from Rori's arm.

"I hate to be the one to suggest this, but –" Hank started but Jennifer laid a hand on his arm to cut him off.

"You don't have to," Jennifer said. "That's why I'm here."

"What?" Steve asked. Rori had a feeling she knew exactly what they were thinking, and she wasn't okay with it.

"I'm going to suggest termination," Jennifer said softly.

"You can't just kill our baby!" Danny shouted.

"Daniel, none of us want that, but I'm not going to risk losing Rorianna for an unplanned pregnancy that's not even viable," Hank said. "We should terminate."

"We're not killing our baby," Danny snapped.

"I'm with Danny, there has to be a way, surgery or something," Steve interjected.

"After I was bit there were some – side effects," John said. "I think we should play it safe. I don't want to lose the baby, I don't, but I can't bear the thought of losing Rorianna."

"Are you crazy? Did you hit your head?" Danny snapped.

"Now who needs to calm down?" John asked. "Trust me, the Wraith and Wraith DNA is not something to mess with. I wish I had never exposed any of you to them."

Rori stared at the video of the baby Jennifer had left on the monitor as they continued to argue. The little heart fluttered away as if the baby was completely unaware of the chaos and turmoil surrounding it. The white glob of the tumor was almost as big as the baby's head now. Her heart broke because, even though she didn't want to face it, she knew the direction this whole thing was going. Her logical mind told her to listen to Jennifer, trust Hank, but her heart told her not to give up on the tiny baby.

"Stop!" she shouted to interrupt the argument that was still in full swing between the most important people in her life. "Jennifer, we need some time, do we have some time to think about this, talk about it?"

"It's hard to tell, we have no reference for what a Wraith tumor could do to you," Jennifer said. "I could give you twenty-four hours, maybe. I'll take these samples to Carson and get his opinion, but I feel like he's going to agree with me."

"Okay, we're not making this decision right now," she said.

"Rori, I want you to consider every element of this," Jennifer said. "Your baby is not going to make it. With the tumor growing this quickly, I'm afraid you won't either, even if it wasn't Wraith DNA."

"Rori, I think we should make the decision now," Hank said.

"Apparently, I'm the tie breaker and I need time to let it sink in," she said.

"Says the woman who knew about it weeks before us," Danny said. His hurt was still bubbling under the surface. Steve elbowed him as if to tell him to knock it off.

"I'll give you a little time," Jennifer said. "I am going to make a quick trip to Atlantis to work with Carson on this, I will be back tomorrow afternoon. If anything changes, anything at all, call General Carter right away." Jennifer set about putting away her equipment and storing the samples she'd taken. She stepped out and left them alone.

A silence filled the room and they all stared at each other. She was so afraid of what was going to happen. The weight of this whole thing could push them apart. She needed some kind of assurance. She needed to know that they were going to be there no matter what.

"Guys, I'm so sorry," she said.

"It's not your fault, we put you in a bad position," John said. "And seeing how we all reacted, I can understand why you didn't say anything."

"But, we are here, we will work through this," Danny said. "If there's one thing I've learned in my life it's that you can't let go of the people that matter." He gripped her hand. "You're not alone in this."

She nodded, but she felt like their entire future rested on her shoulders in that moment.


	18. Chapter 18

_Another night and here we are again  
All our faults laid out ahead  
Let it out, then let it right back in  
All those voices in your head_

 _And we both know everything,_

 _but we can't learn to leave  
So I'll tell you what you need_

The next morning, Rori pulled up outside the house dispatch had directed her to. APD had already stretched crime scene tape around the perimeter and, somehow, Steve and John had beaten them there, despite leaving the house after her and Danny. They hadn't talked much, they'd mostly sat in the living room and stared at each other for most the night. All four of the guys had strongly urged her to stay home but she'd insisted that she needed to work.

"How'd they get here first? You drove like a maniac," Danny asked from the passenger seat.

"They must of cheated," Rori replied with a playful wink. She stepped out of the Mustang and ignored the wave of nausea that washed over her. She hoped it was just morning sickness, but it didn't feel like it. Rori had mild morning sickness with her first two pregnancies and it didn't feel like this, but then again she hadn't always been smelling dead bodies and other – odors.

"What took you so long?" Steve called playfully as she and Danny joined them. They had all agreed that it was best if they tried to go on normally and waited to see what Jennifer had to say, so they were trying to be normal, It felt forced.

"Got stopped at a light," Rori replied. Danny shook his head, she hadn't stopped at a single light. "You get a rundown yet?"

"We barely pulled in before you," Steve admitted.

"You sure you're going to be okay, we can handle this if you want to go back to the office, or better yet, home," John said.

"I'm fine," Rori said in a warning tone. "Chavez!" she called to get the young officer's attention as he came out the door. "What do we have today?"

He looked green as he walked over to them and held up a finger that he needed a second. He finally steadied himself. "It's bad," he said.

"We got that," Steve said.

"There's a woman dead on the couch. She's been there for a while. Then there's a guy on the kitchen floor, maybe a murder suicide, but the guy hasn't been there very long," he said.

"So, she's been dead longer than him?" Rori asked.

"Definitely," Chavez replied.

"Okay, I'm going to call Hank," Rori said. "CSU on the way?"

"Yes ma'am," Chavez replied. She nodded, pulled out her phone as she stepped away and dialed Hank's number.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Hank asked as he answered.

"I'm okay, seriously, I am," she said. "We have two bodies, need you to examine and do autopsies."

"Text me the address and I'll be right over," he said.

"Thank you," she said. She hung up and texted the address.

Danny was coming out of the house when she headed back. She didn't want to go inside, on account of the smell, which she could already smell all the way out by the road and it was already churning her stomach. Also, she'd never seen Danny quite as green as he looked just then.

"That bad?" she asked as he leaned his hands on his knee's and put his head down like he was trying not to lose his breakfast.

"You do not need to go in there," he said. He stood up to meet her eyes. "I have seen, and smelled, a lot in my years as a cop. Steve and I once had a case where a guy's flesh was dissolved in acid. We had a case where pigs literally ate the face off our victim. I've seen bodies in the ocean, hanging from trees. I've drug a body, against my will, through the jungle."

"Danny, I get the point," she said.

"This smells a lot worse than any of that," Danny said. Now she really didn't want to go in.

"Okay, you think Chavez is right?" she asked.

"No," Danny said. "Murder suicide happens all at once, I bet that lady has been there at least a couple weeks."

"Yeah, I can smell that all the way out here, someone must of saw something or smelled something. Let's get a picture of what's been going on here. Ready to do some canvassing?" she asked.

"Steve and John already started," he said. He pointed off down the road.

"How'd you draw the short stick to go inside?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," he said. "Actually, you probably would like to know…" He winked and headed off in the direction opposite where John and Steve had gone. She jogged to catch up to him.

"Who's offering you shenanigans in trade for dirty work?" she asked. They had agreed to go on as normal…

"Steven," Danny said.

"Don't worry, I'll give you shenanigans no matter how much dirty work you do or don't do," she whispered in his ear as she passed him to up the path that lead to the door of the first house. She knocked firmly on the door and stepped back. After a moment with no answer Danny rang the doorbell. A little old lady finally came to the door when Rori was just about to give up and move on. The woman worked hard to open the door around her walker and Rori felt bad for making her get up.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked when she finally got the door maneuvered open.

"Ma'am, I'm Director Rorianna Rivera of the Five-O Task Force, this is Detective Danny Williams. We'd like to ask you a few questions about your neighbor," Rori said.

"Which one?" the woman asked.

"Right next door," Danny said, pointing in the direction of the crime scene.

"Mandy? Did she have the baby?" the woman asked.

Rori's heart skipped and she shared a look with Danny. He slightly shook his head, telling her that there was no baby in the house.

"Would you like to sit down, ma'am?" Rori asked.

"I'm fine," the woman said.

"When was the last time you saw Mandy?" Danny asked.

"It's been a few weeks. She said she was going to her mom's when the baby was born, but I thought she still had some time," the woman said. She peered around them to see what was going on. Her eyes widened at the sight of the cop cars and crime scene tape. "Has something happened?"

"We found some bodies in your neighbor's home. We don't have IDs yet, so we can't say rather or not Mandy is one of them," Rori said.

"Oh god damnit! I knew that guy was not good for her!" she exclaimed. Rori was shocked to hear such language from an older lady.

"Guy?" Danny questioned.

"Not the baby's father, another one, started coming around about a month ago. Tattoos everywhere and a fancy car he didn't look like he could afford," she said.

"Do you know what kind?" Rori asked.

"It was real fancy, I got pictures," the woman said.

Rori caught Hank's Jeep pulling up out of the corner of her eye just then. "Get those pictures and update the guys. I'm gonna prepare Hank for what he's walking in on," Rori said. Danny nodded as Rori jogged to catch up with Hank. She couldn't help but think maybe she should pass this one on to APD or the FBI. It was very close to home for all of them if there was a baby involved. She reached Hank's Jeep as he was getting out.

"Hey, police scanner said murder suicide?" he asked. She'd told him to stop listening to that thing, they never gave accurate details.

"Danny doesn't think so," she said. "He said the woman has been dead a lot longer than the man."

"Okay, cause that's not creepy," he said.

"It gets worse," she said. "The neighbor said the woman that lives in this house is pregnant." Hank sighed. "What?"

"I became a doctor to help people, to save lives. I feel so helpless," he said. His eyes fluttered down to her stomach and back to her eyes.

Rori was searching for some kind of words that would make him feel better, but she couldn't think of any as a car pulled up next to them. It was a beat up, old Buick. The right, back window was busted out with a trash bag in it's place. A scraggly looking man in baggy, faded jeans and a loose wife-beater tank stepped out.

"I'll meet you inside, Henry," she said. It wasn't an order, but it was a strong suggestion. She wanted to protect him as much as she could from the horrors of what happened at crime scenes. He hesitated but went anyway, she was the boss, after all.

"What's going on here?" the man demanded as Rori turned to him. He seemed angry. Very angry.

"Sir, this is an active crime scene," she said.

"My baby mamma lives here, please tell me she's okay," he said, panicked now.

"I can't tell you that, sir," she replied softly.

"Is she dead?" he asked. "What about the baby?"

"We really don't know anything at this point," Rori said. "Let's sit down and calm down for just a minute."

"Who are you, anyways?" he asked as Rori led him to the curb.

"Director Rorianna Rivera, Five-O," she introduced herself. "And you?"

"Brandon Montoya," he said. "I don't have a fancy title or anything, Mandy's just pregnant with my kid."

"Dad is a pretty fancy title," she commented.

"Is she dead?" he asked again, calmer this time.

"Why do you instantly go to asking if she's dead?" Rori asked.

"You've got crime scene tape everywhere, there's a crime scene investigator van, there's cops everywhere. Something is wrong," he said. "And we don't get lucky."

"We don't know that it's her. We did find two bodies inside," she said. A little compassion goes a long way. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"A couple weeks ago, I went to the sonogram appointment," he said.

"Was it normal for her to not contact you for that long?" Rori asked. Danny came over to join them.

"Not really, but I thought she was mad at me. We got in a fight because she wanted me to sign away my paternal rights," he said.

"Any idea why she would do that?" Rori asked.

"Maybe a rich boyfriend she'd rather put on the birth certificate?" Danny asked.

"No, she didn't have a boyfriend," Brandon replied.

The look on Danny's face made Rori think maybe Mandy wasn't sharing everything with the baby daddy. "Brandon, did she have any identifying marks that might help us confirm if the body we found is or is not her?" Rori asked.

"She has a mole on her left earlobe," he replied.

Rori nodded to Danny who headed for the house in response to her silent command. She sat in silence with Brandon for a moment until her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was a text from Danny. Their vic had a mole on her left ear.

"I'm so sorry, Brandon, but it looks like the victim inside is Mandy," she said.

"Was she murdered? Did she die because the baby? What happened?" he asked.

"I don't have any answers for you, I'm sorry," she said. "Can you think of anyone who might want to hurt her?"

"Everyone loved Mandy," he said. "What about the baby?"

"I don't have those answers either," she said. She texted Danny to have him send a picture of the man in the kitchen. It came through pretty quick. "Do you recognize this man?" she asked as she showed him the picture. He shook his head. "Okay, where can I reach you if I have any information?"

"My cell phone," he said. He rattled off the number and Rori sent it in the group message she kept with the guys so they all had his name, relation to the victim, and contact info.

"Okay, Brandon, you can leave now. Please call me if you think of anything that might help with our investigation," she said as she handed him her card. "I'll contact you as soon as I have any information about the baby."

"Thank you," he said.

Rori walked him to the car. It was definitely a craptastic car, but it was clean both inside and out. When he started the engine there was a distinctive squeal from the serpentine belt being too loose. She watched him pull away from the crime scene and breathed in a bit of fresh air to prepare herself to go inside. She thought the smell was bad outside, but once she was inside it took all her willpower not to chunk it.

"The smell is quite pleasant, isn't it?" Danny asked when he met her by the entry for the kitchen.

"Yeah, we'll call it that," she said sarcastically with a hand over her mouth as if it would help.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Just catch me up," she said.

"Male vic in the kitchen has two gunshots to the chest, gun on the floor. Hank says about two hours ago which lines up with the 9-1-1 call. Female vic is in the living room," he said. He pointed to the French doors that clearly separated the living room and entry. "Hank said she isn't currently pregnant, but he thinks she died during childbirth. At least ten days ago."

"Any sign of the baby?" she asked.

"None," he shook his head and his eyes fluttered down to her stomach. It was very clear to her that they were thinking of their own baby just as much as she was. "And no baby equipment," he added.

"What do you mean?" Rori questioned.

"The first thing Rachel did when we found out about Grace is go out and start buying all the little things she thought we might need for the baby. Diapers, clothes, crib, carseat," he said. "I don't see any of that here. There's an extra room, but its empty and not painted for a baby."

"Maybe she had doubts about keeping the baby," Hank weighed in as he joined them. He brought a strong whiff of the decaying smell with him through the living room door and she couldn't hold it in anymore. She darted out the front door and chunked it over the side of the porch. "I got it," she heard Hank say before he appeared at her side. He pulled her hair back while she finished. The taste left in her mouth made her want to vomit again. "You okay?" he asked. She nodded. "Have you been having much morning sickness?"

"Not really," she said. "Just this morning, started at the house and then this is just… It's a lot. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I have some stuff in the car that might help," he said.

"Thank you, but I don't really want to take anything, I have crackers at the office," she said. John and Steve came up the front walkway as Danny came out of the house. "Welcome back. I'm going to guess your canvass went about the same as ours," she said.

"Yeah, neighbors say she was pregnant, close to due. New guy started coming around. Fancy car, tattoos," John said. He regarded her curiously but didn't say anything as he continued his report. "The guy across the street said the baby daddy was pretty low end too."

"I met him. Something doesn't sit right," she said.

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

"The car was clean, immaculately clean, but it ran like shit," she said.

"You have a funny feeling based off the way the guy cared for his car?" Hank asked.

"Guys that kill their girlfriends and babies don't come back to the crime scene while the cops are there," Steve said.

"The baby is gone," Danny updated them. "And there's the matter of Mr. Tattoo in the kitchen who isn't Mr. Fancy Car and Tattoo."

"Okay, Hank, get the bodies to the morgue and start the autopsies. I need a firm timeline on their deaths. Steve and Danny, find out if anyone brought in an abandoned baby. Check hospitals, fire houses, police stations. John and I will go back to the office and try to ID both tattoo guys."

"On it, boss," Danny said. "You should rest and hydrate too."

"Danny, I'm fine, really," she said. She headed for the car with John in tow.


	19. Chapter 19

_Have you ever really loved an angel  
Once you have you'll never be the same again  
Have you ever had to let go of an angel  
Say goodbye, let 'em fly, my angel, my best friend_

Rori clicked on the email from Captain Travis, the Crime Scene Unit Commander. It had the digital form of the CSU case report and his personal notes. She downloaded the file into their local server before opening it. She flipped through the pictures and stopped on the one with the trash can. There were IV bags discarded in the trash.

"What the hell?" she asked. Of course, she was alone in her office so she didn't get a response. She pulled her phone out and dialed Hank's number.

"Dr. Lawson," he answered after a few rings.

"Henry, is it still possible to do a tox screen on Mandy?" she asked.

"We could, it may not show everything that was in her system depending on the drug breakdown," he said. "You think she was using?"

"I think she was drugged," she said. "CSU found IV bags in the garbage. They are, of course, testing them, but I was curious if yours would be faster."

"Probably not faster, but I can do it anyway," he said.

"Thank you," she said.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Henry, I'm fine," she replied. "Do you have a better estimate on time of death?"

"Closest I can get is ten days, give or take a day or two," he said. He was clearly annoyed that she was dismissing his concern. "Any sign of Mandy's baby?"

"Steve and Danny haven't checked in yet," she said. "I'm taking that as a no."

"Okay, keep me updated," he said. "And let me know when Jennifer is coming."

"I will," she said.

"Well, back to my autopsy," he said. "I love you, Rori," he added after a pause.

"I love you too, Hank," she said and ended the call. She hated herself for keeping the baby from them. Even with the best intentions it had been wrong and she never should have kept such important information from them.

"Rori," John called from the main room of the office. She pushed her chair back and went to join him at the command table in the middle of the room. "Got an ID on Mr. Tattoo."

"That was fast," she said.

"It's cause I'm good like that," he winked. "Anyways, meet Hector Benavidez. He has spent a cumulative eight years of his life behind bars for petty crimes but, and this is really the only interesting thing about him, he was recently suspected of being involved in an illegal adoption operation."

"He sells babies?" she asked.

"Yup, considering we're looking for a baby that was born at home and the mom is dead," he said.

"And she may have been drugged," she added. "Who's leading the investigation?"

"Agent Simmons in the Albuquerque FBI Field Office," he said. They'd worked with Simmons before.

"Alright, I guess I know who I get to call," she said. She spun on her heels and started toward her office. She got dizzy and lost her balance. She hit the floor hard.

"Rori!" John dropped down next to her.

"I'm fine," she said. She grabbed his arm to stabilize herself and pulled to a sitting position. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you're the one that hit the floor," he said. "You okay?"

"I just tripped over my own feet," she said. She wasn't sure she was okay though, she was still dizzy and she couldn't focus her eyes. Everything was a blur. She was shaking. Something was wrong and she had a feeling it meant that Jennifer was right, she was losing the baby. She tried to get to her feet, but she was so dizzy and her stomach was lurching again. A sharp pain shot through her stomach, causing her to double over.

"You're not okay, I'm calling General Carter to get Jennifer," he said.

He quickly dialed a number on his phone and shared a quick conversation with someone before hanging up.

"Jennifer is on her way, apparently they're going to beam her right over," he said. He knelt back down next to her and gripped her hand. "Oh, Rori, I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault, John," she said.

A bright light filled the room for a moment and Jennifer appeared in it's wake. "Rorianna, what are you feeling?" Jennifer asked as she knelt next to John in front of Rori and began checking her over with a scanner Rori recognized from Atlantis.

"I'm dizzy, I can't focus my eyes, very uncoordinated, and a sharp pain in my stomach," she said. "I was pretty nauseous earlier too."

"More than pretty nauseous, she chunked it at a crime scene," John said.

"Your pulse is racing," Jennifer said. "Let's get her into Hank's exam room so I can check her over."

John gathered Rori up in his arms and carried her into the exam room. He kissed her lightly on the head as he laid her down and then brushed the hair off her face. That guilty look returned to his eyes and it broke her heart. Jennifer administered some kind of medication into her arm and continued checking her with the high tech scanner.

"John, call the rest of the family," Jennifer said.

"Is she going to be okay?" John asked.

"Get the rest of the family here," Jennifer said firmly.

"What's happening, Jennifer?" he asked.

"Rori, how's your vision?" Jennifer asked, ignoring John's question.

"Better," Rori said. "Jennifer, please, what's happening?" She was even more scared now. Whatever Jennifer had found in the tests had her very serious and concerned.

"I can't find the baby's heartbeat and the tumor has doubled again," Jennifer said. "Carson thinks it's draining you."

"Like a Wraith?" John asked.

"Yes," Jennifer replied. Rori didn't know much about how the Wraith killed their victims, but she knew it was by somehow draining away years of the victim's life.

"You said it was only going to effect the baby," John said.

"I said the Wraith DNA is adaptive, you of all people know that," Jennifer said. She gave John a look of concern which prompted him to pull his phone out and step out of the room. Jennifer quietly continued checking her scans while they waited for John to come back. He returned pretty quickly.

"They're on their way. Hank said about five minutes, but Danny and Steve are on the other side of town," John reported.

"I don't think we have that long," Jennifer said. "I have a surgical team waiting on the Daedalus in orbit."

"Surgical team?" Rori asked. "I can't go into surgery without the rest –"

"I have to remove the tumor before it kills you, too," Jennifer said. "John, I'm going to leave a radio with you, when they get here, radio the Daedalus and they'll bring you up."

"I should go with you," John said, glancing from Rori to Jennifer.

"I've got her," Jennifer said. "I need to get her into surgery now."

"Okay," John said. He took the radio that Jennifer held out to him and gripped Rori's hand. "You're in good hands, babe." He stepped back and Jennifer pressed a button on a small device in her hand. Everything around her changed. In a second, Rori and Jennifer were in a small room with gray walls. Jennifer started shouting commands to members of her staff. Nurses surrounded her and helped her into a hospital gown.

"Rori, I'm going to put you under. When you wake up your family will be waiting," Jennifer told her before nodding to one of the people who had surrounded Rori, who put a mask over her face.


	20. Chapter 20

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_

 _When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
You still have all of me, me, me_

Rori woke up alone in a small, gray room. A heart monitor beeped quietly next to her and an IV line pinched at her arm. She was covered with a light blanket, which kept her warm, but it didn't mask the familiar stench of surgery. When she could finally focus her eyes she saw the door across from the bed, which looked similar to the doors she'd seen aboard the Midway Station John had taken them to. Then she remembered. She was on the Daedalus. Her heart sank and her hand was heavy as she moved it to her stomach. The baby. She didn't feel any different, but she knew the little one was gone. A tear streaked down her face. She had hoped Jennifer would be right, that she would wake up and the guys would be with her. But, she'd been wrong. Rori had lied to them about the one thing she never should have.

No matter how much she tried, she always ended up here; alone in a hospital bed with the weight of her loss bearing down on her as if loss was all she could ever have.

The door opened and she stared in anticipation, or hope, she wasn't sure. It was only Dr. Beckett and Jennifer. "Hey," Jennifer said as she checked Rori's monitor and IV. "How long have you been awake?"

"A couple minutes," Rori replied.

"Are you in any pain, las?" Beckett asked, his eyes sad and his Scottish accent smooth and comforting.

"Not physical pain," she said. She dropped her gaze to stare at the light blue blanket that covered her. She couldn't bear to see the pity in their eyes.

"Are you up to having a visitor or four?" Jennifer asked. Rori's heart lifted just a little and her loneliness drifted off a bit. "Their waiting very impatiently."

"That would be very nice, thank you," Rori said. She wiped the tears off her face as Beckett went to the door. He came back a moment later with Steve, John, Danny, and Hank in tow. They all rushed to the side of Rori's bed, surrounding her and each laid a comforting hand on her arms.

"We gotta stop doing this," John said. He was half joking, but there was a serious look in his eyes.

"Agreed," Rori said.

"When can we take her home?" Steve was stoic as he directed his question to the doctors, who had moved to the end of the bed.

"I want to keep an eye on her a little longer," Jennifer said.

"That's a good idea, considering," Hank said. He had a sadness in his eyes. Maybe he was just sad about the baby, but Rori felt like there was more to it than that.

"Considering what?" Rori asked.

"There's something we need to talk about, Rori," Jennifer said. She laid a hand on Rori's foot. The news wasn't good. Hank, Jennifer, and Beckett all wore that same bad-news-doctor-face.

"What is it?" Rori asked, she looked from Hank, to Beckett, to Jennifer.

"The tumor had grown even more, it was a very rapid growth," Jennifer said. "It broke through the wall of your uterus. You were bleeding internally."

"What does that mean?" Rori questioned. Hank squeezed her hand gently and Steve darted for the door but John held his hand firmly, keeping him in the small room.

"Your uterus suffered significant damage," Jennifer said. "You won't be able to get pregnant again."

Rori closed her eyes to steady herself against the news. It didn't seem so bad. It was an end. She would never lose another baby again. It was relief for a moment, but then it sank in. She, they, could never have another baby. Hank, Steve, and John wanted to be fathers so much and she wanted to give that to them. Danny had Grace and Charlie, but the rest of them had missed it. She'd lost the only kids she'd ever have. She wasn't sure she wanted kids anymore, but the thought that choice was no longer hers was both a relief and heartbreaking.

"Rori?" John asked. She looked up to meet his eyes. They were wet with tears and his jaw was set. He was heartbroken but trying to be strong. She looked to the others, then, and saw the same thing. Steve had been a lot less successful at holding the tears back, his face was wet and his eyes red. Danny was somewhere between John and Steve, the tears were definitely spilling over, but his eyes weren't as red as Steve's. Hank was hiding behind his doctorly detachment. Rori could tell by the way he was holding her hand like she was a patient and not his wife.

"You okay, babe?" Danny asked.

"I don't know," she said. "Are you guys okay? Are you angry?"

"Angry that this happened? Yes," Danny said.

"But we could never be angry at you for this," Hank added. He rested his other hand on Danny's shoulder.

"I thought you guys wanted kids?" Rori was confused. She knew how John and Steve felt about the whole kid thing. They hadn't discussed it in the terms of their family, but she'd known for a long time that they'd wanted kids. And Hank would be an amazing father, they all would.

"Not more than we want you, Rori," Steve said. "Besides, we have Charlie and Gracie." He looked up, across the bed, and locked eyes with Danny through the tears that were still spilling over the edge of his eyelid.

"The important thing is that we still have you," Hank said. He squeezed her hand tighter, this time more like a husband and less like a doctor.

"We'll give you guys some privacy," Jennifer said as she and Beckett headed to the door. The room grew quiet in their absence, which let Rori's mind process everything that had happened. Then she thought about the case. They'd been working a case.

"Mandy?" she asked.

"We handed the case over to Agent Simmons so that we can be together, orders of the Governor," Steve said. He was starting to regain his composure again. "She also asked the Chief to handle any new cases that came in for a couple days."

Rori just nodded. She couldn't think about work at that very moment and she was glad the Governor understood that. Rori felt so drowsy and weak. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"You're tired," John said.

"I am," Rori replied.

"We'll stay with you," he said. "Get some rest."


	21. Chapter 21

_So if you're hurting babe_ _  
Just let your heart be free  
You got a friend in me  
I'll be your shoulder at anytime you need  
Baby I believe  
So if you're hurting babe  
Just let you're heart be free  
You got a friend in me  
I'll be your shoulder at anytime you need  
Baby I believe  
You can lay it all on me_

Rori was elbow deep in engine grease when the side door of the hanger opened. She glanced over her shoulder to see Danny strolling over. She didn't stop what she was doing.

"Hey you," Danny said. He'd stopped a few feet behind her.

"Hey," she replied, giving him only half her attention.

"So, we were wondering if you plan to come home at all?" Danny asked hesitantly. "Or, when?"

"I don't know, Danno. This engine rebuild still has at least fourteen hours to finish," she said.

"Rori," he leaned on the Mustang beside her work area. "You've been at it a couple days already."

"And it's not done," she said. She'd dug in to rebuilding the engine for one of her RX8s as a distraction from the tension at home. The first day she'd worked a ton and passed out in the small bedroom on the second level of the hanger. The second day she'd thought about going home, but she pulled her stitches out and Hank would have been angry, so she bandaged herself up and sat around watching old tv shows on the small tv in the bedroom. Then, she was invested and felt like she needed to finish it. She needed to feel like she was in control of something, anything.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but, can I help with anything?" Danny asked. He must have realized it wasn't so much about fixing the knock in the engine as it was about the actual work. She'd always found fixing cars to be therapeutic. But Danny wasn't like that. He'd take a car to a mechanic in a heartbeat before even checking the oil level.

"No, I'm not gonna ask you to do something you don't like doing," she said. "I got it."

"You want John or Steve's help?" he asked.

"I said I got it, Danno," she snapped. The bolt she'd been trying to loosen finally budged and came loose, she slipped and busted her knuckle against the engine block. "Fuck!" It was bleeding pretty good, but she went on to the next bolt.

"Rori, stop for just a minute," Danny said. She didn't until he put a hand on her arm. "Rorianna," he said softly. She looked up to meet his eyes, which were shadowed with concern and pain. "I know you're grieving. I know you're hurt. But you can't lock us out."

"Grieving? Hurt? You think that's why I'm locking myself away in the hanger? This is not what I do when I'm grieving. Ask John and Hank. When I'm grieving I drink, I smoke, I get reckless, I have a lot of inappropriate sex, and I slit my wrists. I'm not grieving. I'm angry. More angry than I have ever been," she said. She tried not too, but she had tears well up in her eyes and they spilled over, soaking her face. "I'm so angry all the time."

"That's grief, babe," he said. He pulled her into a hug and held her close. "But you don't have to do it alone. We're in this together, all of us."

"I'm scared I'm going to hurt you or lose you," she said. They both knew it was a collective 'you'.

"I know," he said. "But, if this is one of our hells, we should face it together."

"I failed you guys," she said.

"No," he replied. "This wasn't your fault. We, apparently, have terrible luck, but you couldn't have controlled any of this."

"I could have been better on the Wraith ship," she said. "We wouldn't have lost the baby."

"Did you see the size of those aliens? We were overrun. Steve, the super-seal, was overpowered. John, who knew exactly what to expect, was overpowered. You didn't do anything wrong," he kissed the top of her head gently. "Why don't you come back to the house, we can grieve together."

"I can't just sit around the house doing nothing," she said.

"I know, which is why I thought we could do a little grieving your way," he said. He reached for a bag on the floor. She hadn't noticed he'd set it there. He pulled a bottle of whiskey and a pack of cigarettes out of it. "Don't tell the guys about the cigarettes, but I thought we could share the whiskey and spend the evening together."

"That sounds great. I need a shower first," she said, regarding her grease covered tank top and arms.

"Of course," Danny said. "Let's go." Danny led her to the door.

They arrived at the house to find Hank and John trying, and failing, to stop Steve from cooking something, or rather microwaving something. Danny rushed past her and grabbed the bowl away from Steve. "Steven, do not put that in the microwave!" Danny shouted. "I will handle the cooking. Steven and John, clear the table and set it. Hank, take Rori upstairs and check her surgery thing."

"Why am I checking the incision?" Hank asked.

"I saw some bloody towels at the hanger and it's sensitive," Danny said. "I'm a detective, babe, you didn't think I'd notice?"

Rori sighed and shook her head at him before heading upstairs. Hank followed close behind. "Rori, what happened with the incision?" he asked.

"I pulled a couple stitches when I was working on the engine," she said. "I bandaged it up and moved on."

"You had major surgery a week ago, you shouldn't have been working on the engine," he said. He sat her down on the bed, pulled her tank top off and started pulling off the bandage.

"I can think of something else you can take off," Rori whispered and tugged at his shirt.

"Again, you had major surgery a week ago," Hank said. He knelt in front of her and inspected her incision closely. "And you pulled more than a couple stitches out. I'm going to get my bag."

"Can I shower before you go sticking needles in me?" she asked.

"No, if you get anything in that incision it can cause an infection," Hank said. "You should have called me, Rori."

"I know," she said. "But I needed to be alone."

"I know," he said. "Just like you needed to start smoking again." He didn't say anything else, but his disappointment was written all over his face as he headed to get his medical bag. She sat in the quiet of the room, their room, on the huge bed that didn't look like it had been slept in during the three days she'd been hiding in the hanger, especially by four guys, only one of which was known to make the bed. Hank was only gone a moment. He sat his bag down and started preparing an injection as soon as he returned. "Lay down and relax," he said. It would be sexy except that he was holding a needle in his hand. She did as she was instructed and he leaned over her. "This is going to numb the area," he explained when he started injecting the anesthetic. After a moment he started stitching the incision closed again. She could feel the tug of his stitches, but there was no pain.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"You just have to be more careful, Rori," he said. "You're the only wife we have. We don't want to lose you." He crawled into the bed next to her and traced a finger along her arm to her hand, which was still bloody from where she'd hit her knuckle. "What's this?"

"Hit it on the engine block," she said.

"Let's clean it up," he said. He went back to work, getting a warm washcloth and gently wiping away the dry blood. "It's just a scrape." She knew that. But he was a doctor in his soul and it was the only way he knew how to care for her. "I'm going to cover your incision with some plastic wrap so you can get rid of all this grease."

"Thank you, Hank," she said softly. He just nodded, clearly lost in thought. He finished covering her incision in the plastic and left her alone to shower. She didn't really want to be alone, but, at the same time, she wanted to crawl in a tiny hole and never come out.

When she'd finished scrubbing the grease off and made her way down stairs in a pair of Danny's sweat pants and one of John's t-shirts she found the guys sitting at the table with some kind of pasta on plates in front of them. Danny held out a glass of whiskey and a plate of pasta for her.

"If this is my kind of grieving, y'all are doing it wrong," she said. She took the provisions from Danny and headed for the living room. She pulled all the pillows from the couch and went for the blankets in the top of the coat closet, which only made her wince. Steve reached them for her, reminding her that she had help, she wasn't doing it alone. "John, get the candles, Hank, kill the lights," she ordered and they obeyed. Before long, she was sitting in the middle of the floor with them and they were picking at the pasta.

"Is this what you did all those nights you said you needed time?" John asked of the period of time after she'd lost her family.

"No, back then I was mostly just contemplating suicide and getting as drunk as possible while hoping, desperately, that it was all a bad dream," she said. "But I've changed. I'm not alone anymore."

"No, no you're not," John said. She looked around the room. She wasn't alone.


	22. Chapter 22

_I think I've already lost you_ _  
I think you're already gone  
I think I'm finally scared now  
You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong  
I think you're already leaving  
Feels like your hand is on the door  
I thought this place was an empire  
Now I'm relaxed, I can't be sure_

Rori sat at her desk, fresh coffee in hand, and checked the case notes the guys had left her. It had been almost three weeks since they'd lost the baby and she still wasn't anywhere near ready, physically, to be back at work. The guys had banned her from working on the car, opting to finish the engine rebuild themselves. But, she had to do something because she was going crazy and she was half a day away from strangling a husband, or two, especially if they kept arguing.

She picked up the file on Mandy's case. She'd asked the guys to continue working it even though the FBI had taken it. Steve had scribbled a few notes, but each had ended the same – dead end, no lead, bupkis. She hated the timing of all their personal stuff. She felt that their focus had been split. She was probably right.

Her cell phone rang and pulled her from her thoughts. The caller ID said it was Danny calling. It was like Russian Roulette. Either it would be a nice, good morning call from her husband, or he and Steve would still be fighting and she'd be pulled into the middle again. She hadn't really considered how they would handle disagreements within the family. Every relationship had them. Theirs was no different. She sighed and accepted the call.

"Danno, what's up, babe?" she asked.

"Morning, you seen Steve today?" he asked.

"Nope, last I saw him was when you two were fighting last night," Rori said. It had been a blow-out fight. Grace had called with exciting news: Will had proposed. Unfortunately, he hadn't asked Danny's permission. Steve had commented something about it being a modern world and Danny had lost it. Rori had excused herself about an hour into the argument, when they tried to get her to mediate, and slept at the office.

"He's not answering his phone," Danny said.

"Maybe he needs to cool down. Sounds like you do too," she said.

"Now you're siding with the meat-headed putts?" Danny asked.

The front bell rang. Rori glanced at the security monitor and saw a couple women standing in the outer lobby. She headed toward the door.

"Danny, I happen to think that Will should have asked you, okay, but Steve has a point. We're intimidating," Rori said. "The poor kid is about to marry a girl who has two moms and four dads. Give him a break. Tell him how disappointed you are that he didn't ask your permission, that you deserve to have that respect. Tell him he will have to earn that respect back. Be happy for them and move on."

"Rori, if he can't even ask for permission to marry her, how can I expect him to take care of her?" Danny asked.

"Daniel, you raised her right. She's tough. She doesn't need him to take care of her. All she needs from him is support. I think he'll give it to her, he's a good kid," she said as she reached the door. "You're going to push them away. You don't want to do that."

He sighed. "No, I don't."

"Now, I have company at the office. Get your ass moving and get to work," she said.

"Could you just try to call Steve?" Danny asked.

"I will call him when I get done with the ladies that just walked into the office," she promised. "See you in a bit, Danno." She ended the call before he could argue more. Rori pulled the door open and plastered on, what she hoped, was a friendly smile. "Good morning, what can I help you with?"

One of the women was taller than Rori with tanned skin and shoulder length, light brown hair. There was something eerily familiar about her. The other woman was shorter than Rori, but just barely, and had long black hair. Neither of them looked like they were having a good morning.

"I need to speak to Steve McGarrett," the taller woman said.

"I have him in the field at the moment," Rori said. There was something about the way the women were looking Rori up and down that made her nervous.

"YOU have him in the field?" the shorter of the two asked.

"As in, you're his boss?" the taller one asked.

"Director Rorianna Rivera, Five-O task force," Rori introduced herself. "McGarrett is one of my agents."

"One of your agents? I thought this was his team?" the taller one asked.

"He's my second in command," Rori said. There was something about these woman that she couldn't quite put her finger on. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names?"

"Doris McGarrett, Steve's mom," the taller woman said. "This is Catherine Rowlins."

Rori just stared for a second. Doris hadn't been around. Steve and Danny didn't talk about her much either. Like, none at all, so this was a shock. Rori had assumed she was dead. Catherine, on the other hand, had been mentioned a time or two. Suddenly, Rori wanted to slam the door and go back to the not awkward security of her office.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, let me see if I can get ahold of Steve for you. I actually haven't seen him since last night," Rori said instead of running to hide. "Please, come wait in my office." She lead the women to her office and sat behind her desk as she pulled out her phone. She dialed Steve's number, which went straight to voicemail. "No answer," she said. The room was awkwardly silent and she jumped when her phone rang. It was Jennifer. "I have to take this," Rori said as she accepted the call. "Rivera," she said.

"Rorianna, John said you're going back to work today, but I don't remember releasing you to do so," Jennifer said.

"I'm going back to desk duty, Hank is on hand and the guys are handling all the field work," Rori said. "Right now isn't really a good time to discuss this."

"Just be careful, Rori. You had major surgery less than a month ago," Jennifer said. Dear lord, Rori could have guessed the term 'major surgery' would come out of her mouth at least once during the conversation.

"I know, Jennifer, I gotta go," she said as she saw John pass by her office door. She ended the call and sprang to her feet. "Sheppard," she called as she reached the door and stepped into the hall with him. "Have you heard from McGarrett today?"

"Not since he was yelling at Danny about the kids," John replied. He was, clearly, still upset too. When she'd left, he'd been siding with Danny. "Did you know he was meeting a chick at the diner in the middle of the night? The waitress said she saw Steve there with some Asian chick, I thought he was more loyal than that."

"John," Rori scolded with a finger over her lips to shush him.

"What? He took a vow, just like the rest of us," he said.

"Steve's mother and ex-girlfriend are in my office," she said.

"Seriously?" he asked. "I didn't even know she was alive."

"I know, right?" Rori replied. She led the way back to her office where Doris was inspecting the photo from their wedding that Rori had on the wall. "Mrs. McGarrett."

"That's you, isn't it?" Doris asked. She pointed at the photo. That particular photo had Steve next to her with Danny, John, and Hank on the other side of him. "Mrs. McGarrett, that is."

"Well, this is awkward," John said after a moment of silence where Rori just stared at Doris, unsure of what to say or if Steve would want her to know. Damn him for being MIA.

"Steve married… you?" Catherine asked, looking Rori up and down again.

"Something like that," Rori replied.

"You're his wife, you haven't seen him since last night, his phone goes to voicemail, and that doesn't worry you?" Catherine asked.

"It's starting to," Rori said.

"It should, a very dangerous woman is looking for him with intentions of getting revenge for her brother's death," Doris said.

"Somebody is trying to kill Steve?!" Rori asked. Seriously, they needed to catch a break.

"You should have lead with that," John growled.

"Ping his cell and pull GPS on the truck," Rori told John as she pulled her phone out again. "What does this woman look like?"

Doris showed them a picture on her cell phone.

"That's the woman he met at the diner," John said. Rori gave him a questioning look, to which he shrugged, unashamed. "I may have had the waitress show me the surveillance tape. He did not look distressed at all and left willingly with her."

"Who is she?" Rori said.

"Ming Fat, his half-sister," Doris said.

"He never told me about a half-sister," Rori said. John shook his head in response to her questioning look. He headed to the main office to carry out her previous order.

"He didn't know about her," Catherine said.

Rori sighed and tried his phone again. Voicemail. Again. She dialed Danny's number.

"Hey babe," Danny said. "I'm pulling in now."

"Danny, Doris McGarrett and Catherine Rowlins are here. They have reason to believe a woman named Ming Fat is targeting Steve," Rori said.

"Wait, Ming Fat, related to Wo Fat?" Danny asked.

"Wo Fat?" Rori asked.

"Her other half-brother," Doris said.

"Steve killed him years ago," Danny said.

"Okay, Danny, we think Ming Fat may already have him," she said. "The waitress at the diner saw them together."

The call ended as the elevator to the parking garage dinged and Danny stormed into Rori's office. "Why didn't we know Wo Fat had a sister?!" Danny demanded, getting up in Doris' face.

"It's good to see you, too, Danny," Doris said.

"Answer my question!" Danny said.

"I kept her hidden away," Doris said. "She's my daughter."

"I knew you had an affair with him!" Danny shouted. He slammed Doris against the wall and the picture of their wedding fell to the floor, the glass shattering into pieces. "If I lose Steve because of your fucking secrets! I swear, I will kill you!"

"Danno!" Rori said firmly, pulling at his arm and making him release their mother-in-law. "Step out."

"And you!" Danny ignored Rori and turned his attention to Catherine. "How long have you known about this?" Catherine didn't reply, she just stared at him with a look that said it all. She must have known for quite some time. "Steve loved you. He was ready to marry you!"

"Rori!" John called from the main office where they had their command center. "The truck and Steve's phone are both here!" He stuck his head in the office. "GPS is right here in the garage and his code was entered at twenty-three-thirty, after he was at the diner."

"You two get comfortable," Rori said to the other women. "Danno, let's go check it out."

They headed to the garage together and John joined them. Steve's truck wasn't in its normal spot, instead, it was parked toward the back. She wondered, briefly, why he hadn't come into the office. He had to of seen her car parked by the elevator. Had to of known she was there.

They approached the truck, guns drawn, and found it was empty save for Steve's gun, badge, and phone in the driver's seat.

"Damnit!" Rori cursed as she holstered her own gun. "They've got a nine hour lead on us, which means they could, literally, be anywhere." Her heart was racing. The video cameras in the garage had been out for a week and weren't scheduled to be fixed till next week. Perfect timing, some would say. This had to stop, the whole all-of-them-always-in-danger thing. She glanced around the garage. Something was off… something… "The RX8 is missing!" she exclaimed. "I drove it last week after we finished the rebuild and Henry made me ride back with Danny because the whole heavy machinery thing."

"Let's track the GPS," Danny said. He was nervous, desperate.

"We're gonna find him, Danny," John said.

"You bet your ass we will," Rori said. The guys headed off at a fast clip toward the elevator and she almost had to jog to keep up. She ignored the pain that tugged at her abdomen as she stepped onto the elevator with them. She rested her hand on her stomach as they rode up and both guys noticed, but didn't say anything. Doris and Catherine both met them as they came off the elevator.

"Please, don't tell me he's dead," Doris said.

"My gun would be in your face if he was," Danny said. His hand rested on the grip of his gun and he kept one eye on her while John typed away at the keys on one of the computers in the main office. He brought up Rori's old tracking system she used for her racing cars back in the day. He selected the RX8. It was at the hanger.

"Pull up the security system," she said. She kept the hanger secure with a state of the art system. Call it an obsession, but that was where she kept her racing cars and that was where she kept her memories. So, it was outfitted with security cameras and the best locking alarm system she could build. John was already on it. There was no security feed from the cameras. "Damnit!" It was more than just Steve missing. The hanger was her safe place, her secure location, and it had been compromised.

"Not so fast," John said. He knew where her mind was spiraling. "The hanger was only open for thirty seconds. Not long enough to take another car out." He pulled a security report for the past twenty-four hours that logged every time the doors were opened and closed. "None of the doors were opened after that."

"That means they're still inside," Danny said.

"Danny, do we trust Doris and Catherine?" Rori asked.

"About as far as you can throw them," he replied.

"We're right here," Doris said. "Look, I can talk her down if needed. She's my daughter after all."

"Okay," Rori said, staring into Danny's eyes and considering what he had said for a second. "Catherine, go with Danny. Doris, you're with me and John."

"John and I," Doris corrected. Rori shot her a piercing glare.

"Seriously? Right now? You tell us your bastard daughter is trying to kill Steve because of your dirty secrets and you're worried about grammar?" Danny asked. "Come on, Cathe." He headed for the elevator with Catherine close behind.

"After you," Rori motioned that Doris should follow Danny. Doris hesitated for a second, picking up that they were treating her more like a detainee than a mother-in-law. John and Rori were close behind.

"Rori," John leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You should stay back."

Rori didn't say anything, just glared at him with a warning glare and continued to the elevator. The small box was pretty cramped with all of them on it, which was nothing new because there were no more people than when Steve and Hank were with them, but Danny tensed up anyway. Rori could tell he was having a claustrophobic moment but John beat her to comforting him with a quick squeeze of his hand. A small gesture of affection that Doris didn't miss.

"This is my fault," Danny said.

"How so?" John asked. Danny glanced at Doris and Catherine before making a quick eye contact with both Rori and John. "Danny?" John questioned.

"In the fight last night I told him it was his fault we lost the baby," Danny said. "I told him he didn't have a right to an opinion about the kids because he had robbed us of our baby."

"Steve knows you didn't mean that," Rori said. "We lost the baby because it wasn't meant to be, babe." She sounded like she had come to terms with it, which couldn't be farther from the truth. "We're not even sure there's anything wrong. For all we know, they could just be catching up."

"Steve didn't seem like he was in distress on the security footage at the diner," John said. "He's going to be okay."

"Wait, who's baby?" Catherine asked.

"Ours," John, Rori, and Danny said in unison.

"I'm confused," Doris said. She turned to Rori. "I thought you are my son's wife."

"I am," Rori replied as the elevator finally stopped. Rori didn't say anything as she headed for the Mustang. "Danno, call Hank, update him and see if he can meet us at the hanger."

"Got it," Danny replied.

John opened the door for Doris and let her climb in the back. Rori got behind the wheel and started the engine as John buckled in. They had learned not to argue about her driving anymore. It was one thing that she felt like she could actually do without endangering her recovery.

"Who's Hank?" Doris asked.

"Our doctor," Rori replied. She pulled out of the parking garage in front of Danny in his Camaro.

"You want me to take the lead when we get there?" John asked, ignoring Doris.

"I got it," Rori replied.

"Rori, again, you should stay in the car," John argued.

"Damnit, John! I'm fine!" she snapped. She didn't feel fine, but Steve needed her. She couldn't not be there.

"It's just that I checked with Jennifer and she said that –"

"John, don't push it or you'll be sitting in the car," Rori warned.

"Why can't you just sit one out, Rorianna?" John asked, he was annoyed and protective, which just annoyed her.

"Sheppard!" she used his last name coldly. She merged onto the freeway to head across town to the hanger.

"Rivera!" he matched her tone. "You are surrounded by very capable, trained officers. We would do anything for you, you know that, let us handle this."

Rori slammed the accelerator down and watched the speedometer rise. She was pretty satisfied when it reached 200 and she was weaving through traffic. Doris was holding a tight grip on the back of John's seat with a bit of fear in her eyes, which was also satisfying to Rori.

"John, I couldn't control rather or not we lost our baby. It was the worst feeling in my life! I never want to feel that again. I'm in control of this. Five-O is the only thing I'm sure is okay right now," she said.

"We're okay, the five of us, we're okay," John said. He didn't sound like he believed it any more than she did. They were out of tune. She never would have had to tell him why she wouldn't stay in the car. Danny and Steve were fighting. Hank was taking extra shifts at the hospital. Nothing was right about them. "I got your six."

"Thank you, John," she said. She knew as well as they did that she was ready for active duty and she was probably a liability in the field, but she needed to make something right. John put his hand over hers where it rested on the shifter, a small but meaningful gesture that, once again, Doris didn't miss. Rori caught the look in her eyes through the rear-view mirror and she hoped to whatever god was listening that Steve was prepared to tell his mother about them.


	23. Chapter 23

_Yeah, yeah I said don't stop, don't stop, don't stop_ _  
Talking to me, stop don't stop don't stop  
Giving me things_

Rori counted the exits as she passed them. She hated that the hanger was so far away. She needed to fill the air with something besides the tension between her and John and the fear that Steve was already gone. "Tell me about Ming," Rori said over her shoulder to Doris.

"She's angry. Wo Fat was her best friend. At first, I was able to keep her from knowing Steve had killed him, but she found out and left me quite the letter telling me she was going to find Steve," Doris said.

"Did she explicitly say she would hurt him?" John asked.

"No, I guess not, but I know my daughter. She's fueled by anger and hate, just like her brother was," Doris said.

"Why would Steven leave his badge and gun if she didn't force him?" John asked the question Rori didn't want to think about.

She could think of a reason. None of them had anticipated how the beginning of this marriage would go and none of them had really been talking much since they lost the baby. Knowing the things that were said during the fight the night before, Rori couldn't be sure. She gave John a sideways glance. He looked a little worried too.

"I hate going into any situation without the whole story," Rori said. She pulled up to the hanger and parked outside. Danny pulled in next to her. "Alright, Doris, sit tight for a minute."

"Seriously?" Doris asked.

"Steve never mentioned you to us, Danny doesn't trust you," John said.

"So, you stay in the car till I can assess the situation," Rori said.

"You talk about trust, daughter-in-law who is clearly cheating on my son," Doris said.

"Not cheating," Rori said as she got out and leaned down to make eye contact with Doris through the open door. "And, until Steve tells me otherwise, none of your business." Rori slammed the Mustang door and headed for the trunk with John. Doris looked pissed. Maybe she had a right to be. Rori felt like they did too. Steve hadn't been open about Doris. For that matter, Danny hadn't either. They grabbed their tack vests without looking at each other. Rori knew John wanted to argue about her going in again, but he respected her enough to hold back his arguments. Danny joined them.

"Rori, I think –" Danny started.

"You're taking lead, boss, we'll flank," John cut him off, no doubt to protect him from the snap he expected from Rori.

"Catherine is staying in the car, right?" Rori asked.

"No, we don't want them out of sight," Danny said. "Either of them."

"I thought you said you don't trust them?" Rori asked.

"I don't, which is why we can't leave them alone," Danny said.

Rori sighed and opened up the Mustang door. "Doris, let's go, Danny made an argument for your usefulness," Rori said.

"Thank you, Danny," Doris said as she climbed out of the car.

"Just stay behind us, both of you," Rori said as Catherine joined them.

They approached the side door and Rori typed the passcode on the lock. She pulled the door open and lead the charge inside. Steve was tied to a chair in the middle of the hanger. He caught sight of them and shook his head. Which made them duck behind the Lamborghini. He was beaten pretty bad, Rori could see several places he was bruised and bleeding.

Doris gave Rori a questioning look and Rori put a finger over her lips to keep the older woman quiet.

"Ming, I've told you everything I know about Wo Fat," Steve said loudly. "I can guarantee that he's dead. I put bullets in him myself."

Ming, Rori recognized her from the photo, came out of one of the small rooms at the north end of the hanger. It was the one Steve kept some of his old case files in.

"I don't understand it. Mom always says how devoted to family you are, but then you go and kill our brother," Ming said.

"You're brother, Ming. He was never a brother to me. The only thing he ever did was try to kill me. He tortured me on multiple occasions. Ming, listen, it's not too late. Untie me, we'll give Mom a chance to explain all of this to both of us," Steve said. "Ming, please, don't take this too far."

"I was hoping she was lying. I can't ever trust anything else she says. I thought maybe, just once, her lie would be in my favor, that he wouldn't really be dead," Ming said. She sat on a bucket Rori had to put the old grease in. Ming had moved it in front of Steve.

"Mom's lies are never in our favor. Ming, I don't know you, I didn't even know you existed until last night, but I'd like the opportunity to get to know you," Steve said. "I'd like to get to know my sister."

"Even after this?" Ming asked.

"Call it making up for lost time. If only you knew what my husband and his brother did to each other when they were growing up," Steve said.

"Your husband?" Ming asked. "Mom didn't tell me you were gay."

"Mom didn't know and it's more complicated than that," Steve said. Complicated? Is that how he saw their relationship? "Because I wouldn't be honest if I said I was gay." Doris shot Rori a confused look and Catherine shared a look with Danny. "Truth is, I've loved Danny for a long time, but we were too afraid to admit it till Rori came into our lives. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met and she holds us together more than she knows. Without her, I never would have had the nerve to tell Danny what he means to me. Without Rori I never would have gotten to meet John and Hank either. Together, all of us are a family, Ohana. We're married. Not legally, of course, but who needs a piece of paper?"

"So, what, like a polygamy thing?" Ming asked.

The look Doris and Catherine shared was the most priceless thing Rori had seen in months. Danny smiled at them. He had a proud look plastered on his face.

"You could call it that," Steve said. "So there, you know something about me. One of my most vulnerable things." Rori could see Ming from where she peeked around the hood of the Lamborghini. Ming was giving in. Her shoulders were drooping and she'd relaxed the grip on the gun she held. "I'm gonna be honest with you, Ming. My family is here, they came in while you were looking for the file. They're heavily armed and will do whatever it takes to protect me."

"What do you mean, they're here?" Ming asked, she frantically looked around. Rori stood up and trained her gun on the other woman. Danny and John flanked her.

"Ming, I promise, I've told you everything I know about your brother," Steve said. "It's over."

Ming considered his words for a second before laying her gun on the ground in front of her and raising her hands over her head.

"On your knees," Rori said as she approached.

"Damnit, Steve," John said as he checked Steve's injuries while Danny quietly untied the bindings on his wrists. Rori started to cuff Ming but stopped when Steve shook his head.

"Don't," Steve said. He joined Rori in front of his new found sister. "Ming, I can forgive what's happened here if you can forgive me."

"She came here to kill you," Rori said.

"She came here for answers," Steve said. "And she got them."

"I'm sorry," Ming said.

"Ming Fat, this is not now we do things in this family," Doris scolded as she came out from behind the car with Catherine.

"It kinda is, Mom," Steve said. Steve gently put Ming's hands down. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Seriously?" Ming asked.

"Just don't ever hit me again," Steve warned. "And you," he turned to Danny. "Why are you so quiet?"

"Danny was worried," John said. "Henry is outside, gonna tell him it's all clear." John jogged to the door as Steve stared Danny down.

"You were worried?" Steve asked.

"Well, with your perpetuity for armed conflict and the arrival of these two," he nodded to Doris and Catherine. "I'm not liking your chances for a long life," Danny said. He had his hands in his pockets the way he did when he was nervous. "Also, I said some things."

"Things you didn't mean," Steve said.

"I thought I lost you, Steven, and not because you were dead," Danny said.

Steve stepped in to Danny, slipped his hand around the shorter man's waist and pulled him in against him. Their eyes were locked and Rori's heart raced in anticipation. Not only because it was incredibly hot, but because it was all she needed to know they were okay. Steve was carnal as his lips met Danny's and he held him close. Rori bit her own lip to calm the fire that was building within. Their kiss ended but Steve didn't release Danny and they didn't break eye contact.

"Oh my god, I thought this was a prank, something to get back at Doris," Catherine said. "I didn't know…"

"What? You came to get him back?" Danny asked without breaking his gaze with Steve. The glint that Rori caught in Catherine's eyes told her Danny had hit the nail on the head. "Too late."

"Sorry, Cathe, you had your chance," Steve said. Steve turned to his mother, finally breaking the intense stare with Danny. "And Mom, seriously, how many chances did you have to tell me about Ming?"

"I just didn't know how to tell you. I'd already kept so much from you," Doris replied. "I'm sorry, please, forgive me."

"You're apology is noted, acceptance is pending," Steve said, pulling straight from Danny's book. Rori could tell, though, he'd already forgiven his mother.

"Well, this is a nice change of pace, Steve," Hank said as he breezed in with John.

"Who's this?" Doris asked.

"Dr. Hank Lawson, meet our mother-in-law, Doris McGarrett," Rori introduced the last member of the family.

"Oh, the Hank," Doris said. There was an odd sense of curious acceptance in the way she was looking each of them over.

"Wait, this has to be a conflict of interest. Does the governor know about your little love affair, Steve?" Catherine asked.

"The Governor knows. She sent us a very nice dinner set for the wedding," Steve said. "She cares about our numbers, our success, which increases when we're all together. That's what the Governor knows."

"Sit down, Commander. Let me see the damage," Hank said in a half doctor, half flirty tone. Steve followed orders.

"I'm sorry," Ming said again.

"Just be lucky we're giving you a second chance," Rori said.

"Thank you," Ming replied.

"What did you do to him?" Hank asked, looking from Ming, who was tiny and relatively unscathed, to Steve, who was more bruised and beat than Rori had initially thought.

"I spent my whole life training in Japan. I'm very skilled in several fighting techniques," Ming said.

"You're gonna need stitches above your eye. I don't suppose I could convince you to come in to the ER," Hank said.

"Why go to the ER when I have you?" Steve asked.

"Because I have scanners at the ER to make sure you don't have a concussion," Hank said.

"I don't," Steve replied. "Rori, I thought you were on desk duty today?" Steve very cleverly averted the attention away from his injuries.

"That was before you were kidnapped by your long lost sister," Rori replied.

"How are you feeling?" Hank asked with a quick glance up from where he was preparing Steve's eye to be stitched.

"A little out of shape if I'm being honest," Rori replied. "I'm fine."

"Still, I'm gonna check you over," Hank said. She'd given in to their caretaking because she knew they were right. She needed to take care of herself. She watched as Hank carefully stitched the cut above Steve's eye. He tied off his thread and leaned back to admire his handiwork. "There, good as new."

"Thanks, babe," Steve said. "We should take this party to the house, Danny can make dinner and I can give you the explanation I'm sure is burning your mind," Steve added to his mom.

"It's barely noon," Catherine said.

"Then call it lunch," Steve replied coldly glaring at his ex. "What did you think you were going to accomplish by coming here?"

"I'm just gonna leave," Catherine replied.

"Probably a good idea," John said. He put a possessive, protective hand on Steve's shoulder. Rori couldn't help but catch the look in Steve's eye, though, as Catherine walked away. He had loved her once, maybe he still did, but he'd chosen the Ohana.


End file.
